It Is Now 1:50 AM

I am so sorry that I haven't been able to blog lately! I have been super SUPER busy with college and homework and exams and what not. In fact when I started writing the first sentence of this post last night I had yet to complete my take home exam for my Shakespeare class but instead I was procrastinating and writing on here.

Hope everyone has had a great week so far and I wish everyone a Happy Thursday! I just woke up about an hour ago considering I fell asleep around 6pm today. My sleeping schedule is hellaciously messed up but for some reason I was really feeling it yesterday morning when I didn't go to bed until 3:30 because I had stuff to get done and then I had to wake up at 6:00.

I turned in my exam yesterday morning and we went over the answers in class. I got two wrong that I know of which is disappointing because it was a take home exam and there really is no excuse for getting something wrong on a take home exam other than the fact that you had no idea what the question was trying to imply. We started watching the rest of the Henry IV movie and I was happy to see that Michelle Dockery was in it playing Lady Percy. Jeremy Irons is a great actor as well but every time I see him in something I always think "Scar."

By the way I call Henry IV just that; Henry IV as in the medical thing you get in your arm. It is not Henry the 4th. A few other people before class were laughing at how I called it Henry IV and then we discussed how the entire play revolves around King Henry who is in the hospital with an IV in his arm and how hotheaded Hotspur is a new resident at said hospital and is his doctor. The sequal: Henry V; where he gets a vascular disease/visionary problems. And if anyone out there has never read Henry IV and actually uses any of this in a paper I would strongly urge you to reconsider. This probably has to be my favorite group of people I have ever had for a class. Most of us get along but we are all so very different.

In music class today we had to sing our solo song in front of everyone. I had no idea about the singing infront of everyone part until I got to class. Maybe not knowing ahead of time is a good thing because everyone said I did really good. 0_0 Apparently my posture is INCORRECT though (according to everyone) so I'll have to work on that before Monday when we are graded on this. Personally I didn't see anything wrong with my posture because I have doubts that I looked like Quasimodo when I was up there, but then again I can't see myself so I shall just have to listen to these lovelies. My teacher said that I improved a lot since last time so I'll just have to keep working on it over the weekend to see what improvements I can make.

After class I had to go to a musical recital concert where the students performed a lot of solo pieces from the piano/guitar/violin, etc and also sang. I showed up about 5 minutes late because I was talking to my theatre teacher so I did not receive a program which I needed to staple to my 25 point paper I have to turn in by Wednesday. One of the girls performing a poor piano piece onstage thought it would be wise to leave her program on the table behind me. I was a thief and stole it. I would like to think it was for a good reason considering going to these concerts is worth about 50% of our grade and the crazy music teacher won't accept any papers without a program. I feel bad for stealing something like that but I am just going to assume that because this girl was in the recital the teacher knows she was there and she can get another program if need be.

The concert itself was interesting and I do give everyone credit for going up there and doing their absolute best. Three people from my music class got to perform along with one of my friends from a previous theatre show and they all did amazing and I am proud of all of them. Now there is this one girl who goes to my college who everyone thinks is the greatest performer in the world. I got to meet her today and I would just like to point out that being a diva does not equal talent. I saw her before the performance and being a nice person I told her to break a leg. She says to me; "I don't need luck from someone I don't even know." Well then...

I really expected her to be great but my expectations fell flat. If anything she was mediocre yet everyone seemed to love her. I don't get it, I really don't. I'm not sure if it was the song choice or what but I did not see her greatness. In my opinion the girl who sang before he deserved a freaking standing ovation. She was very kind to her audience members and she even sang in a foreign language (which can be difficult for a lot of people) and her voice was beautiful. The only way I can describe her voice is that it sounded kind of like Brandi Burkhardt's only I thought she sounded a bit better.

Brandi Burkhardt- Lucie- A Tale of Two Cities musical which I will review pretty soon despite the fact that it's 2 or so years old.


I didn't have time to eat lunch today considering I had to go from the concert directly to my theatre class where everyone continued filming today. I got to dress up in my fancy schmancy costume which I got out of my own closet and I was even filmed today on campus. We had a crowd surrounding us and that was really REALLY cool and made it even more worthwhile. A lot of people came up to me and said that I did great and I just want to give another shout out to everyone who was watching us film and say thank you so very very much!!! Another thing that I got to do today which was neat was be a 3rd eye when it came to filming along with holding the camera a few times. Basically my classes today were just fun and I learned a lot.


As soon as we got done filming I went to a tiny little gas station and picked up a Diet Stewart's orange soda which is the best thing in the world. I ate dinner at around 5 and then went to straight to sleep right after that. Now I am typing this up and watching reruns of Friends. Hopefully I'll be able to fall back asleep sometime soon but if I can't I think that I'll survive.

Thanksgiving

I hope everyone had a happy Turkey day this year!!! Overall my day has been pretty decent so far which is surprising when it comes to family gathering time.

I got up around 9 to watch this lovely thing;



Overall I was not hugely impressed with the parade this year but because they decided to have it after Sandy hit I give everyone huge props and would like to thank them for their time and effort to make the parade possible.

I actually thought Cinderella looked like an interesting performance that I would love to see on Broadway and I really hope that it does well. Laura Osnes is a great performer and I've liked her ever since hearing the recording of the musical Pride&Prejudice.  



But the Power Rangers can never live up to their 2011 Macy's Parade performance. NEVER. The singers lip sang like they do every year but that is understandable considering cold temperatures are not good for the voice. Flo Rida's performance was cringe worthy though. Smiling does not equal a very good lip syncing performance Mr. Rida!

But I am thankful that they had the parade, it is kind of a tradition. I'm hoping it lifted some spirits up in New York. By the way, the idiot girl in my Shakespeare class told me that she has never even heard of the Macy's Parade. Obviously she's lying to get attention. How is it possible to never even hear of the parade?


The Thanksgiving at my grandma's this year was pretty good, but maybe that's just because it wasn't only the immediate family and we had some sane people around us. One of my aunts brought her basset hound over and I completely fell in love with it. They have the most adorable little eyes!!!!

 My grandmother was drunk and was still drinking as soon as everyone arrived. I felt embarrassed for her. My cousin kept telling everyone how much of a fan she was of Marilyn Monroe despite the fact that I knew who she was first and she never even heard of Marilyn until I told her how cool she was. My cousin then started getting snippy with me because she had to go into work for Black Friday. How does this affect me again? That's right, it does not! About a second after this and she hit me for who knows why and Mr.basset hound started biting her. Other than the adorable factor this is why we love basset hounds.

At dinner the turkey was a bit dry but as soon as you put gravy on it you couldn't tell. I ate way too much and can now I can never eat or bake again as long as I live. Oh and my grandmother gave me some red wine. I took a sip and  spit it out. How can people drink that stuff? It's like poison in a bottle!

Hope everyone else had a splendariffic Thanksgiving. Whoever will be out at 8 tonight for Black Friday, good luck!

Funny Face

I was not able to go to college today. Maybe 'not able to' is not the correct phrasing, I was perfectly capable of going but I didn't. Why?

This is going to sound like the most horrible reason to skip school but my face broke out. BAD. Like red blotchy spots all over my face which looked like an allergic reaction and make me look like a store bought lobster. My skin has never been this bad since middle school, and I agree that this is not an acceptable reason for skipping college but I am not stupid enough to think that people won't judge me because of this. I am not un-self-conscious enough to go out in public like this. Sure I could have put base on it or concealer or some type of cover up on it but that is what brought the reaction on in the first place.

This morning when I got to college (I did manage to get there) I looked in the car mirror to see that my face was a Jersey Shore type of orange from the base I have been using for weeks now. I thought that maybe the lighting outside was just being lame so I went into the college bathroom only to find that yes, I am Snooki's third cousin twice removed. So I take a washcloth out of my backpack (I carry everything in my backpack for reasons like this) and wash my face with water. My face was extremely splotchy but I just thought that it was from the washing I did. No. I started doing girly things like brushing my hair and what not and the redness didn't go away after 10 minutes and managed to look even worse. I put a cold compress on my face a few times and that managed to make it look even redder and more lobster like. I applied cortisone cream and I am starting to think that that was what made my face a new type of horrendous. 

I walked outside to get my phone out the car when some art student gave me the most disgusting look in the world. I managed to give one of my own very special crazy eyed looks back but I knew that this was how the entire day was going to be.Sadly people cannot just accept the way you look and move on, we are always critical of one another. 

My face then began to start itching and I said eff this and went home. I took another shower, took a Benadryl to numb down the pain, and put a cold compress on my face, then took a nap.

Halfway through my nap my theatre teacher calls saying that they need me in class today because they are filming. I was very well aware of this and was planning to give it my all today but they seriously did not need me for the first part of the film and I was even told this by Mr. Pumpkin Patch. I quote "We do not need you." So good luck with that. Theatre teacher then asks if I didn't have a ride to class and I didn't so going back to college was not going to happen for me, not to mention that I was pretty drugged up on Benadryl when I was talking to him. He then says that my grade would probably suffer for this. I have never let anyone down before when it comes to theatre and frankly I hate doing it because it just shows that I am unreliable and that is not something I want people to think about me.  People in the class are probably going to hate me for not showing up but I'm quite used to feeling hated so it's no big deal. I am going to have to write my teacher an email tomorrow on account of me not remembering half of the conversation. =/

As of now my face seems to be getting a little bit better after the cold compresses and bag balm but I am hoping that my face looks acceptable for public when I wake up tomorrow morning to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.

Taking Chairs and Bank Accounts

Yesterday at college was interesting to say the least. I handed in my Shakespeare paper which I know I completely failed because the directions were hard to understand, or maybe I just didn't read them all. Either way I will be surprised if I even get a C or better.

In the paper we had to say how we would stage/film the assassination of Julius Caesar. Easy enough you would think. But it seems that Mr. teacher guy wanted the entire thing to be set in modern times like the 1996 movie of Romeo+Juliet starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes which honestly I am not a fan of.  I set mine in the correct time period when you know, Shakespeare actually wrote it, but doing so has more than likely caused me to get a horrible grade. 

One girl in the class thought her idea was the best thing in the world next to a cure for cance. The idea included having Cassius as a thug, Casca as a sassy female, and Caesar as a sugar daddy. Bohemian Rhapsody would be playing in the background as all the conspirators surrounded Caesar and shot him in slow motion. Marlon Brando would play Cassius.

 I would have to throw sharp objects at the screen if this movie ever got endorsed. And  FYI Marlon Brando played Mark Antony in the 1953 movie of Julius Caesar, he is no Cassius. He sees fault in our stars. 

But Mr. teacher guy absolutely LOVED the idea and couldn't wait to read the paper. This is not an acceptable idea to love. Shakespeare would be so ashamed. But I guess next time if I want a good grade my paper shall read as follows;

Definitely good writing material right here.

In music class everyone got to practice their individual song with the accompanist in the practice room. None of the students got to pick out their individual song so I am stuck with this;

Drew Carey sings, imagine that. To be fair though I got the soprano version to sing (obviously because I am not a guy and can't sing tenor or barritone.) I swear that this has to be  the most sugary induced sugar sprinkle sugar song in the world. This is why Who's Line is it Anyway made fun of it every chance they got. Disney's My Son Pinocchio which was based off of this film never made it to Broadway. Gee I wonder why!!! I do not understand why people say they have cried listening to this, I am still trying not to die of laughter.

Lyrics;

You can take my favorite chair (CHAIR! I wish all chairs could be treated equally and that people didn't show favoritism towards a single one.)
Go on take it, I don't care (I actually would care. I would wonder why you are stealing my freaking chair when there is a purse/tv/ and jewelry box in my house.)
There's no possession I can spare (I kind of like possessing my scalp!!!) 
Since I gave my heart away ( I gave it away... to SATAN. =P)

If I had a bank account (SENTIMENTAL FEELINGS ABOUT BANK ACCOUNTS!)
You could the whole amount(I assume going to a bank and taking another persons money is against the law unless you have a check.) 
Things and riches what are they (They are things and riches.) 
Since I gave my heart away (For some reason this is starting to remind me of the movie Thumbelina.)
Bring it on home now!Till I felt like this (He never really identifies how he feels. I am going to say ecstatic!)
I could not have understood (Nobody understands Geppetto. NOBODY.)
Until you give your heart to someone else (Like Satan)
You might as well be made of wood (HAHAHAHA! Get it. Because his son is literally made out of wood. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! *facepalm.*)
So take my home look here's the key (But it's to my mother in laws house, you can seeeee)
And all the value you might see (You have nothing of value Geppeto. You have a chair and a wooden boy.)
But please don't take my love from me (THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO DO! Love is a feeling, not a bank account.)
That's a price I can not pay (Because I have no money in my bank account)
Since I gave my heart away (LAAAAAAAAAAAAA)

There's a few more lyrics but I do not have to sing them, thank God. In all honesty I really do think I can pull this song off despite the "what the hell" lyrics. I really REALLY wanted to sing On My Own from Les Miserables (popular song, I know) because that is in our booklet meaning it is a choice. If I learn this sugar song by tomorrow I may have a chance to sing it. Fingers and toes crossed! 

What I Am Thankful For and Turkey Story!

Because it is almost Thanksgiving I feel that this post was in order. This year I am thankful for both of my cats who have gotten me through so much this year just by being there 24/7. I am also thankful to be living in this country. Although things are not the best in the U.S. at the moment they could be 100 times worse. Another thing that I am thankful to have are some of the things a lot of people seem to forget about because they seen to always just be there. I am thankful for having a house to live in along with food and clothing and even though they are pretty crazy, I am thankful for my family in a way and am happy that my very distant uncle was recently released from prison (he was apparently sleeping outside the office he works in on a bench. Apparently that's a big no no. Resisting arrest is also a big reason as to why he may have been in there a few weeks.) But anyways..

In a few days I shall be very thankful for turkey!!! I honestly have no qualms about eating the bird. When I was a little girl I went to this restaurant area with my grandparents which is known for having great turkey and a whole bunch of other cool little things inside. I was finished eating and decided to go play in the playground area outside. This is when I realized that this turkey restaurant had actual living, breathing turkey on it's grounds. I had never seen a living turkey in real life before so I thought it would be fun to start talking and singing to it and get close to it's face. Not very wise. The turkey started chasing me all over the playground trying to kill me and even recruited some of his friends to help attack! I finally made it to the top of a slide but when I looked down about 30 turkeys were surrounding it! Someone obviously heard me screaming and was able to find my grandparents along with the owner of the restaurant who did not look very happy about his turkeys attacking a 3 year old. I'm guessing he was even more upset because it drew a scene. Some man had to get his dog out of his car to come scare the turkeys away so I could get down safely.
When I got down I remember my grandfather asking me "Why did the turkeys start attacking you?" (kind of like the question he asked when I thought it would be fun to pet a goose and take it's feather "Why did the goose bite you?)
My response (in tears) I ONLY WANTED IT TO BE MY FRIEEENND.

Now I know; turkeys are food, not friends. To this day I have not seen a single living turkey roaming around the grounds of this restaurant and I have been there plenty of times since this occurred.


Because I have listed above the things that I am truly appreciative and thankful for I thought what the heck and decided to make a list of things that I am loving at the moment.

*TEA- Okay, I will always love tea. But at the moment I am finding Numi's earl grey to be slightly amazing.

* Wild Honeysuckle body spray from Bath and Body Works- I feel like a princess wearing it!!!


* This pink notebook that I got at the college bookstore- It is the LARGEST notebook I have ever owned and there are atleast 70 lines per page. I bought one a few semesters ago and ran out of paper but this has to be the biggest asset to my college work and what not.

* Downton Abbey- Recently started watching seasons 1 and 2 again in preparation for season 3 airing in America on January 6th. It is such an amazing show; the cast, the costumes, the scenery, the storyline, everything is beyond amazing.


* SALT- Recently saw this movie and I thought it was fantastic. Angelina Jolie deserved an award for her performance.


* Les Miserables- I have been listening to the music 24/7 as of lately. Everything about this musical is phenomenal and I doubt that I will shut up about it anytime in the near future. Or at least until February.




There are probably a million other things I forgot to add but that is alright.

Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving!!!

Reasons I Am Going On A Witch Hunt Thanks To Facebook

So we get to keep our internet. YAAAAYY!!!  Once you think something will be gone forever you seem to appreciate things a bit more, at least that is what I learned out of this. I really have no idea if I was supposed to learn a lesson or not but I did.  

Anyways, FACEBOOK.
Copying others in real life is not cool, I hope people understand this by now. You want to know what else is not cool? Stealing someones status on Facebook and then getting 15+ likes on it when the original poster gets ZERO. Copying and stealing in general is just not cool.  Imitation and copying and pasting is pretty much the same thing as plagiarism and last time I checked, that can get you kicked out of college. Or your job depending on what you do for a living.

When I signed into my Facebook today TWO count them, TWO people copied and pasted my status. My statuses are 100% me, no quotes or love stories or anything like that. Just ME the person who thinks before writing her status because posts like "MY BF BROKE UP WITH ME TONIIIGHT. COLD N CUDDLE R NO MORE" irritate me. Nobody really cares how lonely you are and if I was to write something like that I would give every single person permission to throw my body in the lake to see if I sink or swim. These two people got about 7 likes apiece for the status they stole. When I asked one about it she claimed that "this is the internet and if you don't want people quoting your work don't put it out there for the world to see." The thing is she didn't "quote" it. She blatantly STOLE it and didn't give me credit. I dislike thieves unless it's a Les Miserable type of case but I'm too kind to delete her. She does something like this again me and her will be having a long talk at college. I don't care if she does go on Tuesdays and Thursdays I will find her. I understand what she is trying to say because yes, the internet steals a lot of stuff from other people, but to imply that the original work is your own when it isn't just makes me mad, especially when it's stolen from someone you thought was your friend. 

Another thing about Facebook stealing; why do some people 'like' bands and things that they have never heard of before? Especially if it's a minute after you liked it. Fever Ray. Perfect example. One friends profile said our common interests were some of the same books and bands and what not, pretty common thing when you like things like Harry Potter and The Rolling Stones. Oh but he also claimed to have liked Fever Ray and I found that interesting so I asked him about it and this is how it all went down after we were talking about something related to theatre class and what types of music we could use for our little film if we had the copyright laws and what not;
Me: Fever Ray!
Him: Who?
Me: I was looking at the types of music we could agree on and it says you like Fever Ray.
Him: I have no idea who that is.
Me: Well you list her as one of your music likes.
Him: Oh yeah. Saw them on my friends Facebook. Thought the girl looked creepy. Never listened to them.

Okay first of all you didn't see them on your friends Facebook  but if you did then props to your friend for having good taste in music. Secondly it's not 'them' Fever Ray is the alias of Karin Dreijer Andersson who just happens to be a single person. Thirdly observing that someone looks cool or creepy does not constitute them to be a like, especially when you got people like me out there who listen to so many varieties of music and what not and then want to talk about them with someone who says they like the same not very popular or well  known artist. In my eyes it's a lie to like something when you have never heard of them. You will be found out eventually. 

Basically all I am asking is for people on Facebook to stop pretending that I don't notice when they do things like this. I notice everything.

Now I'm not saying that copying in some cases is not good, I'm an actor. I don't necessarily copy others but I observe and learn from them. To me that is a lot different than being a carbon copy of the original. Many people at the college I got to are aspiring artists as well and I can understand why they would get so mad if someone stole their idea for an art piece and then claimed it as their own for profit. That is just wrong. Be original and authentic, don't copy someone else, you won't get away with it. 

Money

I know that a lot of the time talking about money is considered a 'sin' but that is exactly what this post/rant is going to be about.

I can't finish my last semester of college. I cannot afford it and neither can my parents. I am not applicable for financial aid, don't even bring that up. I have to take one more class to graduate but as always, it would kill the world to let me have one thing that could do me an ounce of good. I will never understand why education has to be so expensive and I am only going to a community college.

My mother and myself also cannot afford the internet so more than likely after Monday if the Internet company doesn't do something good and lower their price like they usually do, I won't be able to write on here anymore, never the less be able to type and print my homework without getting up at zero dark thirty and heading to the villages library or the colleges computer lab.

Oh and I am not able to go to an OBGYN. Too expensive. No, Medicaid will not cover me. I have been on my period for two months and it sucks. No, I am not pregnant and if you actually think that I am you do not know anything medical and you surely do not know me. My doctor has switched my birth control pills and I was able to get a pelvic ultrasound only to find out that nothing is wrong with me and that I should make an appointment. $350, not happening.

All of our money is going towards medication that I need to survive. When I turned 21 my insurance did not approve of giving their life saving meds out for free anymore. I went on Medicaid but as soon as I turned 21 that was history as well. Being 21 sucks because of this.

I feel like I am going to spend the rest of my life working at a dead end job to make minimum wage only to give it all to my mother so I can have a house to sometimes sleep in at night. I could sell my body on the streets to survive, but nobody would want it and I don't live in a city where doing things like that is in the norm. Overall  I am just starting to believe that I will never going to be able to afford a plane ticket out of this state, or live in an apartment, or earn enough  money to afford a professional head shot or even earn enough to have the internet at my hands to know what  auditions are around me. But I guess it doesn't matter anymore. Having a dream at this point in time is unnecessary when I will never be able to afford it.

But I have a plan. I will start writing. I will write a novel. Sure, I will probably never be the next J.K. Rowling and I will go under a pseudonym and it is unlikely that I will not make a lot, but it's all that I can do at the moment. It is either that or win a painting contest at my college, but I do not think that this will win me $500.

 I have always wanted to write a novel but my ideas have never been in any order and my grammar is not the best. But I am going to order my thoughts along with the writing fragments of ideas I've had in the past. I am going to write.

Pinterest is Stupid

I am serious.
This is just my opinion though, feel free to disagree. But why oh why is everyone so obsessed with Pinterest? Honestly I find it to be a less cooler version of Tumblr. I am sure that there are some interesting things on there- the recipes section I heard was good- but the rest from what I can tell is just stupid.

First, you need an invite to join this website. Why? Are people not capable of joining a website now without having their friends tag along?  Is that what this world has come to? Also if you do not have a Facebook or Twitter then you are out of the Pinterest club- meaning joining this website will not happen. Stupid.

Another thing, why is it called pinning? All that people do is copy&paste something from another website, that does not deserve it's own word.True, some images are taken by a persons own camera, but what sucks about that is it gives reasons for people to steal said persons idea and claim it as their own instead of being creative. The person who took the picture probably did not come up with the flower in the jar idea, that was their deceased grandmothers thing.




Putting flowers in a small jar to make them look more beautiful and assorted and to make the table look classy!!!!!!!

NO. Your table may look classy but the person sitting at it is a lying uncreative thief and I hope your grandmother haunts you for stealing the one thing people have to remember her by!

If you are actually looking for a recipe or see a nifty dress the only thing this website does is give you a link to said recipe/dress original website and half of the time the link is for tumblr which doesn't help anyone nor does it give you the information you need to make your caramel cookie cake or buy your Gucci dress. Instead you are given something like the photo and underneath it will say "YUM!" or "Gotta have!" This helps nobody. NOT ONE PERSON DOES THIS HELP.

Then of course we have the titles for these list of pictures. None of them seem to change no matter what pinner you are looking at. Let me give you a few of them;


DIY!- When are you going to have time to make a pink Cinderella pumpkin carriage as a bed, engraved with horses and glass slippers, completely made out of pumpkin for your child? As neat as the idea is, it is probably not going to happen.

Ideas for the Home!- Wow you can buy a shoe rack for your shoes! Color me impressed.

Gift Ideas!- "Christmas is coming up, alright! Let's see here I'm going to buy these spatula's  for my cousin!" Cousin searches your name on google, sees your page, the element of surprise is ruined.

Too Cute!- Yes, lions are indeed cute. Until they chase the antelope down and eat them.

Bucket List!- Get married and eat Nutella! How original! Oh wait, 100,000,000 other people have the same ideas on their list! I really feel like my bucket list is not normal compared to some of these.

My Style!- Probably my favorite title on here. If I know you I know what your style is. As for others, I do not care. You can walk around in a sheet and call it your style, it will not phase me one bit. And a lot of people lie with this too- hardly anyone in Michigan knows what Jimmy Choo is, let alone can afford a pair if they are under 18.

Yummm!
Hilare!

^ These are not words. End of story.

I am just not seeing what the big deal about this website is. Maybe I am missing something but at the moment I shall stand by my opinion of Pinterest and call it stupid.

College Today

Today started off on a bad note but I am hoping that it will end alright. When I finished getting ready for school this morning I checked my emails to make sure none of my classes were cancelled like I usually do and there sits an email from my Shakespeare teacher claiming that "He wants our papers today instead of next Monday." Oh, okay that's cool. Only one problem, I haven't even started mine yet. So in the car in the parking lot I am writing like a mad woman and quoting some stuff from this little book then I bolt over to the library so I could type my paper before 10:00. I got finished at around 9:15. I am curious as to what my grade could possibly be on this. I thought it looked well put together and thought out but maybe there isn't as much detail in it as Mr. Teacher Guy would like. I guess we'll see.

When I was sitting outside the classroom today some mentally off dude starts telling me his life story. I did not know him nor do I care to ever communicate with him again. He wanted to challenge me at math because he just took a math test- I do not like math. He then proceeds to tell me about how he works for life care and how everyone loves him despite the fact that he has to go to court practically every week because his patients did not approve of something he did. He ended up walking away to go talk to "Tiffany" and all that I can say is God Bless You for showing up Tiffany.

In my music class today we had a quiz. I thought it was quite hard. Halfway through the quiz our professor hands some other kid and myself a "I caught you doing a good deed" ticket. I have no idea what I did other than write down my answers for the quiz but if I get 2 more of those tickets I will be getting a free soda pop. Hooray for doing good deeds that you know nothing about!!!

At around 1 today I thought that I would go check out what some lady next to the college was selling at her garage sale. She had a ton of books out, one lady irritated me immensely by asking if she was selling 50 Shades of Grey. FYI I also learned today that my mother wishes to read this book. She knows exactly what it's about. Please kill me now. However I ended up buying this large book which had the complete Narnia collection in it for only a dollar. Good deal if you ask me. After I ate I had to head back to the college to go to my theatre class and go direct our movie!!!!!! You would think that would be fun right? You thought wrong.

I am no longer a director. Mr. Pumpkin Patch is. We went into the theatre today and started talking about costumes for the movie which is one of my favorite things about acting in general. So we go look for our costumes downstairs and afterwards we went back up to discuss some of the ideas for the movie when this conversation takes place;
Our Teacher: "So Mr. Pumpkin Patch you're basically running things"
Him: "Yeah I am the director after all"
Me: "I'm directing too."
Him: "Yeah I decided that we only need one director for this movie." 
Me: "Well if that's the case then it's going to be me."
He then proceeds into telling me that I have no leadership skills what so ever and that I am not needed whilst my teacher just sits there and says nothing. After this Mr. Pumpkin Patch says;
"Alright on Friday me and >insert kids name here< are going to meet outside of the building to work on what kinds of shots we can get."
Me: "Why? And what can I do?"
*He ignores me*
"WHAT CAN I DO?!?!?"
Him: You can meet with us on Friday but you will be doing nothing. 

Are you freaking kidding me? Getting real tired of your shit Mr. Pumpkin Patch. It's just really sad when I come to think of it. Can't my teacher or Mr. Pumpkin Patch just let me have one thing? One moment to shine? Just one. It could be one of the worst things in the history of film making but I would be proud to put my name on it as a director but apparently that is not going to happen. It was stupid of me to think that it would, nothing in life ever works out the way anyone intends it to.

But whatever, Criminal Minds and American Horror Story Asylum tonight. I bet my pinky finger that Thredson turns out to be one Bloodyface in the end.

















Edit/Spoiler












:I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY PINKY FINGER CAN NOW STAY ATTACHED TO MY HAND!

Enter The Asylum

I have to say that I absolutely loved American Horror Story when it aired in October 2011. Now I am completely hooked on the second season, American Horror Story Asylum. I have to give a ton of credit to the writers for thinking up a lot of the twisted stuff we have been getting. The actors have been outstanding this season and have shown that their characters are human. I like watching this series because literally, anything could happen next. Basically this show has everything you could imagine when it comes to the horror genre; demons, crazy nuns, aliens, mutants, corporal punishment, an insane doctor, etc.

The only problem I have had with the show so far is this tiny little bit of historical inaccuracy; BriarCliff would not have existed in the 1960's although that is the date this entire show is set in. In the 1950's most asylums were replaced with psychiatric wards in hospitals. JFK even established NIMH (the National Institute for Mental Health) where shock therapy was replaced with drugs.

^This is my new ringtone.

Back story to the person who sang this song;

The Soeur Sourire (or The Singing Nun, aka the person who sings this song) was a Dominican nun who became famous for this song and this song alone.She abandoned the convent to life and met her female companion,whom she got to know through operating a school for autistic children. They both committed suicide in 1985.

As for other television series that I am enjoying lately; Person of Interest season 2 and Criminal Minds season 8. These are my two favorite television shows of all time that are still airing. If you have not seen any of these three then I can not recommend them enough.

For Asylum you do not need to see the first season, the second season is completely different with a new story line and new characters. 

My question to anyone who is reading this; what is your favorite television series of all time? Not including cartoons or anime because I know a lot of you out there (like me) could list a million of your favorites when it comes to those two categories.  

Eventful Day!

So today as I wrote a few posts back, I had to sing in front of my entire music class. I have been practicing all week for this and last night I really worked excessively on my pitch and breathing. This morning I drank a ton of water and practiced again in the car on the way to college and even sat in the car and practiced until 9:00 (because my first class does not start until 10:00 and I had to go print stuff off at the library.) Overall I knew I had it but of course I still felt the nerves, which were evident when I was talking so much during my Shakespeare class when we were supposed to be watching Julius Caesar. I learned during Sweeney that talking a ton is something that I do when I am really nervous. 

Obviously my nerves did no subside when I got to music class either because I was talking there too before a single person got up to sing and I kept asking questions- good questions, by the way. Our teacher asked for volunteers first; 2 guys and then a girl went up there to sing. I thought "Okay,  might as well get this over with" so I went up 4th, introduced myself, and then started singing. I sang about 8 words before I broke down and started crying. I couldn't remember the damn words! Yeah, excuses, excuses, but this is not the first time I have broke down or have had a panic attack when it comes to singing in front of people (high school choir- everyone was told we had to sing in front of the class individually or we fail, I went to the teacher, broke down and started crying, told her I for the life of me couldn't do it, and I ended up doing it anyways but not as good as I would have liked) For the life of me I will never understand why! People don't bother me, people don't make me nervous, I do theatre, so what on earth is my problem? I don't know, but I need to find out before I start fainting and hyperventilating instead of crying.

But anyways I started crying, the accompanist stopped playing the piano as I buried my face in my hands, and told me that "It will be fine sweetie." My teacher just asked if I needed, the book. LOL. NO! I HAVE THIS THING MEMORIZED! The little voice inside my head was saying. But I did end up using the book, if you used it then you were marked down some points but I did not even care about points at that point. I ended up singing, though not as great as I practiced, in fact it didn't even sound anything like I practiced, it is actually quite hard to sing when you are holding back your emotions. But I did it. I sang the bloody class song. Granted, I know that I did not do my best but I finished the damn thing. The other students were very supportive as well, one of the girls sitting next to me continued to say how well I did. She may have been lying but in this case I will forgive her.

Our teacher asked us when everyone was finished how we all thought we did. I said that I thought I did poorly, because I started crying and that was very unprofessional, not to mention my pitch needed some work. He told me that he never tells any of his students this but I was amazing. Sure, I had some pitch problems (BUT OF COURSE I DID! I WAS ABOUT READY TO FLOOD THE NILE RIVER FROM MY TEARS OF SCAREDOCITY!) but because I did not run out of the room that made me amazing. Because I was able to hold back my emotions while singing was also pretty amazing, according to him. He gave every single person something to think about as well. I also learned that I have a tendency to use laughter and joking as a defense-machinism, which is completely true when it comes to things I am nervous about, like SINGING. 

Now I know a lot of people say that because I am going into theatre singing or speaking in front of people should be easy for me. It's not. When you are singing a song or giving a speech it is completely different than acting. In acting you can be a character- and if that character has to sing I'll do it. But to sing something and not be in character for me, it is just nerve-wracking and I just wish that I could find a way for it to stop being like this for me personally.

The other students were in the same boat that I was though, we were all nervous. None of them cried like I did, but you could just tell. The last lady who sang had the book in front of her and screwed up half of the lyrics so I would like to think that I was not the worst. =P The accompanist was also really nice to me specifically so I thanked her after class and gave her a hug. If you are doing anything that involves singing please remember that the accompanist is your friend. If you make them mad then they can speed up the tempo or make it jazzy and that will mess you up and it will be your own fault. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS be nice to your accompanist. ALWAYS.

At the end everyone had to hand you a sheet of paper, where they 'judged' you on your performance 1 being bad, 3 being good. On all of my papers I got a 3 for my appearance. I was wearing pink today, pink is my feel good color to wear along with red and black. Pink boots, pink shirt, pink hair flower, I was very pink today. I only got two 1's for my "confidence factor" but that was to be expected. Overall I am just happy that I got through with it, that is something that I should be proud of. There are some things that I need to work on before we sing our individual songs but now I know what I can do to improve. 

But the most important thing to remember about this post is this; I may have cried but at least I looked good while doing it!

This Is Not A Happy Post

In the past I have seen a lot of people ask others 'why did you start a blog' or 'why do you write' when I started this blog I did not really know my overall intention, but as of right now, the answer to this for me is that I have nobody in the real world to reach out to anymore and so keeping this blog and being able to write is something that tends to keep me sane. I can basically write anything I want to on here and express my emotions without being judged by the people I know in real life.

 

Most people who know me may see a happy, hyper, smiley, eccentric, positive, crazy, fun, innocent girl who doesn't seem like she knows anything about the world. It's true, I cannot say that I know everything about the world, but who does? However, I know as much as I need to, probably a lot more than I let on. Although I have a tendency to be all of the adjectives above, I am not like that all of the time contrary to popular belief. 

Nobody knows what goes on inside of another person do they? Does anybody even care to?

It is not a welcome feeling to feel like you are invisible. Same goes for feeling unwanted. That's what goes on inside of me half of the time.When I tell people I have no friends I am serious. 99% of the time at college outside of class I am alone. Most people my age are going shopping with their friends or going bowling or on dates with their boyfriend/girlfriend. Speaking of dates no guy has ever really looked at me- but that is a topic for another time. Introvert that I am that is more than likely a big reason.

As for family, as of the past few months my mother has been on a rampage about the insurance and how it is my fault that I have so many medical problems that require medicine. I did not ask to have type 1 diabetes or asthma, and I did not ask my doctor to put me on thyroid medication to keep it in check. But apparently having these things are making us BROKE and I am being told that I should just drop dead because it would save her money. This is not the first time where she has wished death upon me, a lot of the time she just says that I was the biggest mistake that she has ever made.

 

I have been applying for jobs so I can give her the money for my medication but nobody seems to want a 21 year old with no experience. In my moms world taking 12 credit hours in college isn't enough and it would be better if I just got a job and got out of her face. Even better yet, if I just moved out of her house. (like I could afford to do that right now.) By the way it is HER HOUSE, she is so proud that she bought it that she throws it in my face all of the time and takes a lot of things that I need, because they are in HER HOUSE, things  such as printer ink which I kind of need for my college papers so I don't FAIL, but she has the right to take them.

 

I am trying my best to look for a way out of here but I am starting to doubt that is ever going to happen. I doubt I will ever be financially stable enough where I can book a plane ticket and an apartment and get the hell out of here. I saw an audition for a movie in Michigan last  night and told my mom that I was going to apply. She told me that I would never make it as an actor and that I should just give up. The only job I could ever do is something at the hospital she works at because I am a useless person and no other job would ever hire me because I have absolutely no talent. After my last three auditions I am starting to think that is true.

 

The other night when I went to bed at 3 am my mom literally pushed me out of bed at 4 because she could have sworn that I woke her up which was bullshit. She then proceeded to rip my blanket in half. This behavior sounds like she might be an alcoholic but she is not. This is just the way she has always been, though she does tell me that she should start drinking all of the time after what I put her through 24/7.

 

My mother is one of the reasons as to why I think I may have depression. Her along with every other member of my family and the people who made my life hell all throughout middle school and high school. Sometimes I go to bed at night hoping that I die. When I wake up I sometimes wonder why I am still alive. I have attempted suicide 3 times, once in middle school by jumping off our house roof (yes, that was silly, it was only 5 inches or so to the ground) the other 2 times by swallowing sleeping pills. I have only told two people this; my mom who thought I was lying and just says whatever whenever I bring it up (which has only been twice) my dad who slapped me and only said that I shouldn't tell anyone else this or they will lock me in a nut house. I told my mom the other day that I have no intentions of living anymore, she told me that I should have fun trying to kill myself because she wasn't going to stop me. I think my mom thinks that I am only saying this for attention, in the past that may have been true because yeah, I really don't get any attention at home, I am ignored a lot of the time, ditto when it comes to college. However lately I have been in this depressed mode where I am thinking who would miss me if I was gone? Nobody. Nobody even knows who I am and the ones that do surely don't care if I exist or not.

 

But I have decided that I am not going to let this world destroy me, the world cannot have my body yet, it doesn't deserve it. If I were to kill myself then it just means that these people won and I have too much pride to let anyone win in that way. I have read multiple times that there is someone out there who cares, maybe I don't know who it is but I would like to think that there is someone.

 

If you are like me and are currently having sad thoughts or have had some in the past, just know that we can make it. There is nothing wrong with us. We are human and we deserve to be happy just as much as anyone else. If we are gone so is our future- obvious yes, but it does make sense. All of us wear a mask to hide our true identity, but one day I would like to believe that our masks will not be needed anymore.

 

Now I am just rambling, so I think this would be a great place to stop.

 

This quote has had a strange impact of me ever since I read the book. Thank you George R.R. Martin.

 

 

Music Make You Lose Control

On Monday of next week I am going to have to sing in front of my music class ALONE. Now I am ok with singing in front of people, I don't think that I have the voice of an American Idol reject but it is not something that I am thoroughly comfortable with as of yet, even if half of the people in my class do sound like Rak&Tak;

 I had a singing part in my college's fall musical and this video actually made me get through the audition without having a complete anxiety attack. I thought if these people can do it so can I! So thank you Rak&Tak. However the part I got did not require me to sing on pitch what so ever and I would like to eventually be able to go on stage a sing things like a fairy and not like a crazy 90 year old woman.  

As for my music class, the other people in the class have to take notes judging you on your performance. I do not like that what so ever. This is not American Idol, I would like to think that we are in this class to learn how to become a better singer and not be judged on if you sound spectacular or not. Students should not have the power to judge others in a classroom environment when the teacher is the one with the doctorate degree. So this will probably be giving me a nervous breakdown all week. Like I said, I think that I am an alright singer, but I am willing to admit that I do need improvement. Whenever I get in front of people to sing like this my voice never usually sounds the way I want it to unless I practice 100 million times and then some,  and even then sometimes my voice is different. It also does not help that we have all be singing together choir style and the two ladies next to me are always singing like they are in a freaking opera, meaning I am unable to hear myself and my voice tries to fit what they are doing, which is a problem. 

Overall I just do not think I am meant for a musical classroom setting. 

Directing

A few weeks ago in my theatre class we were assigned to think about ideas for our student film that will be shown in the college's theatre around Christmas time. Today we were supposed to say our ideas aloud to one another. Nobody had any. Nobody even wished to talk or throw ideas out there. I had to be the one to ask exactly what everyone was thinking, what genre they wanted to do, if they had a chance to play any type of character what type of character would they be, etc. Because nobody had many answers for this I decided that I would have to be the one to take charge- which I kind of knew would happen anyway. I already had in my head that I was going to be the one to direct this thing. It was something I really wanted to do once it was announced considering there really are not that many female directors out there. I was inspired to learn a few months ago that Carrie Preston (best known for playing Arlene Fowler on the television series True Blood) has not only directed a few movies in the past, but she recently took her passion for directing and after six years came out with the movie That's What She Said. Preston and her husband, Michael Emerson, have always been an influence to me when it came to acting but to learn that she was a director made me have an even more huge ounce of respect for her.

I sat up on a desk and started to take notes on what a few people were saying for what this movie could be about, when another guy in the class, aka Mr. Pumpkin Patch who I have mentioned in my previous blog posts, sits up on the desk opposite me with a pen and paper in his hand, (basically imitating exactly what I was doing) and thinks that he is going to take over.  Now I am all for having two directors, more than likely a film will require more than one director at times. I am all for having two directors if I can be selfish and be one of them, but what I am not okay with is having a 2nd director try and outdo the original and try to make her look like an idiot. I am a person who usually never takes charge, and the one time I do someone just has to be rude and criticize everything that I am saying. I get that criticism is a part of life but to criticize something as minor as "We can go down to the basement of the theatre and pick out our costumes if your character requires something you cannot find in your closet"  is just not right. I am taking a chance directing here, and I will not have some loony toon ruin my experience. 

He even had the audacity to say to me after class that HE will be the one doing most of the directing and that HE will only need me for directing certain parts of the film. I will not stand for this. I have put up with a lot when it comes to the theatre world but this is not going to happen no matter what he thinks. I will not be the person to sit back and be told what to do when it comes to making a student film, especially by some guy who's only motivation is to try and make me look foolish.

All of us started throwing ideas off of one another after awhile and now we have the premise of our movie, and it will have puns! Next Wednesday we will be going to the theatre and looking for costumes along with start the writing of the script. 

Voting

So yesterday was what we American's call 'election day.' Obama won for the 2nd term and I know some people are happy about this some are not. I won't judge you on who you voted for because in the end our country wins because we are blessed to be able to freely elect our nations leaders whereas some countries do not have that option and run under a dictatorship.

What I am going to talk about today is not about who won or who I voted for because frankly I do not care who you voted for and I really do not want my blog to turn into some type of political debating place. Your vote is none of my business. You could have voted for Ralph Nader who's name wasn't even on the ballot this time around and I would not care. What I will be talking about however is what a lot of people keep saying about the voting process and how disrespectful people can be when it comes to who's leading our country.

First and foremost if you are an American citizen and did not vote then you have no right to complain. Unless you are a felon, a minor, a non-citizen, a person who has not registered, or an extraterrestrial you have no excuse as to why you didn't vote.  Whoever your are your vote could determine the future, you never know. I have read a few written articles online with people who comment down at the bottom saying 'I hate both candidates so I ain't voting' well that's fine and dandy, but you are always free to vote for a 3rd party, nobody is forcing you to vote democrat or republican or even president for that matter. You are also free to vote for the proposals. Not voting just means the man has won. 

However, before voting I beg you to please do some research on the candidates first. Saying 'I'm voting for Bama' cuz I like him better than the other guy' is not smart if you have no idea what the other guy's name is or what Obama is promising this country. When I was voting the older guy next to me literally asked one of the people there how he could vote for Romney and Biden. When has the US ever been able to vote for a vice president individually? I've heard of undecided voters but come on, be a little informed. People like that are undeserving of  a well done sticker.

As for being respectful, we all know that Obama won. Some are happy about it, some are not, some are in-between. Going up to other people you do not know at college and going "OBAMA WON" whilst doing a high five hand gesture is not cool and will more than likely make you a few enemies. Be respectful of others voting decisions. 

Another thing that has been irking me,some people kept saying before the votes were tallied that "If ____ wins I'm moving to Canada!" You will still wake up tomorrow if the candidate you despised won.  If you have absolutely no respect for your country left then I would actually prefer if you'd leave. 

That is pretty much all I have to say about the subject. Also, here's a cool little story I thought ya'll might enjoy;

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/ticket/michigan-man-dies-during-early-voting-revives-makes-225724476.html

Question Time!

QUESTIONS I FOUND ON THE INTERNET! 

1. Are you young at heart, or an old soul?
I am only 21 but I think that I can either be wiser than my years or lower than my actual age. It depends what day of the week it is.

2. What Christmas present do you remember the most?
I remember them ALL. 

3. Name one physical feature that you like about yourself, and one you don't like.
I like my eyes at times. Least favorite would have to be my arms. Not enough to get liposuction or anything but they are not my favorite.

4. What holiday do you most look forward to?
Kooky Spooky Halloween!! 

5. How is the relationship between you and your parents?
It is ok. 

6. You've got the TV on, but you're not really watching. What channel is the TV on?
I don't usually have the TV on in the background...electricity bill yo! But if I do it's usually on Animal Planet or CBS.

7. If you could pick anywhere to live the rest of your life, where would it be?
New York or somewhere in England or Ireland.

8. Have you ever spent a night in the hospital?
Several times. Asthma, appendicitis,a low diabetes reaction, etc. I also spent the night in my dads office once and he works at the hospital so it was ok. 

9. Do you enjoy being with only one or two friends, or with a large group of people?
To do this you would actually have to be friends with people and I basically do not have any that I can hang out with at the moment. However I do like being in a large group at times, makes me seem less of a loner. Or it makes me want to strangulate half of the people in the group. 

10. Do you like the type of music your parents listen to? Do your parents like the type of music you listen to?
Very much so. Both of my parents have awesome taste in music. My mom likes some of the stuff I listen to, my dad always says "I don't know them" whenever I mention an artist I like, and he wants to end the conversation at that.      

11. If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Nutrition aside, ice cream. Or licorice. I wonder if they make a licorice ice cream...

12. Do you believe in a god?
At times. Me and him have a strange relationship.

13. What's you're favorite hashtag to track?
I am on twitter and I have absolutely no bloody idea what this means.

14. When you were young, what would you dream you would be when you grew up?
 I wanted to be a waitress when I was in kindergarten, then a police officer when I was in 1st grade, and then an artist through grades 2-4. As soon as I hit 6th grade I knew I wanted to be an actress. 

15. Do you want to have more friends than you have right now?
I really do not know. I like meeting people though.

16. Have you ever met someone through the Internet, then met them in real life?
Unfortunately not. But I'm always up for meeting new people in a SAFE CROWDED ENVIRONMENT where there are witnesses. 

17. Tell me about the last book you read.
A biography about Shakespeare for my class. It was not good.     

18. Predict what your life will look like a year from now.
I'm still planning that!!!!!

19. Early bird or night owl?
Night owl.  Early birds irritate.

20. Where do you live? Be as general or specific as you want.
In a state. 

21. What was the longest car ride you've ever taken?
To Minnesota. The car broke down on the way back at an unreasonable hour! 8:00 am is an UNREASONABLE time to go to Pep Boys.

22. What is your ethnic heritage?
Irish and Scottish.

23. Do you want to live until you're 100?
It might be cool to live that long, but I think it would be better to go around the 90s.

24. Do you practice what you preach?
Not as often as I should. 

25. Have you ever laughed uncontrollably when it was socially inappropriate?
Yes. Many seem to find that peculiar. 

26. Do you often skip breakfast?
No. 

27. Would you want to know the exact date and time you were going to die?
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! 

28. Describe your neighborhood.
It's somewhat near a graveyard. It's quite boring besides the alcoholics next door.

29. Name a TV series you didn't enjoy until after it ended.
MASH, Alias, and LOST.       

30. Have you ever bought a product from an infomercial?
  A baseball bat. Which I used to smash the television set when the other infomercials played.

31. What is one thing you could never forgive?
 Killing another person out of pure ignorance or stupidity. 

32. What part of the past year sticks out in your mind?  
Many things. 

33. What is your favorite sport?
Hopscotch

34. What has been troubling you lately?
How people cannot accept another persons opinion. People hate being told they are wrong. 

35. Who was your first crush?
This guy in my elementary school class. I thought that he would like me if I told on him for climbing  on the desks. LOL. I was a delusional child. He took me to the school office during recess when these other boys who were his friends started were screwing with me and telling me to 'move' so they could play their stupid game. No, I did not have to move, this is my hiding place away for society, I am perfectly content, leave me alone. One boy pushed me off of this little jungle gym type thing and I started bleeding. This boy started screaming at him telling him that 'He was not cool' or something and then took me to the office. Two days later he started  going out my friend. He moved schools until 7th grade when he came back dressed up as a ghetto gangster type person. He was still nice, but I was a complete mess in 7th grade and would really rather have died than have dated someone at that time in my life. He is married now. 
I have only ever had two other crushes in my life, both of which were stupid because both of them were assholes.

36. Where is your favorite place to go out and eat?
I really like Finley's which I do believe is only a Michigan restaurant. 

37. Give me an unpopular opinion you have.
 I have so many unpopular opinions that it is unbelievable. One that I can remember off the top of my head is that I will never understand why people make fun of others for being more educated than themselves. 

38. Describe a person that inspires you.
Someone who is not afraid to be different.  

39. If you could earn minimum wage doing what you love, would you? 
Definitely.

40. Describe the last time you were very angry at someone.
Today. I do not have to describe anything I do not want to. 

41. Where would you prefer to live? A city? The suburbs? The countryside? The mountains?
I think it would be neat to live in a city. 

42. Where is "home" for you?
Oz. 

43. Where do you and your friends go to hang out?
I really do not hang out with people.

44. Have you ever been bullied? Have you ever bullied anyone else?
Yes and no. 

45. Is it possible for guys and girls to be just friends?
 YES. Most of my guy friends are gay so it is possible. But I talk to guys all of the time and have never had the thought  I was going to get married to one of them. Lol.

46. What are the 6 songs you listen to the most?
I change what songs I listen to all of the time. Right now my top 6;
If I Had a Heart- Fever Ray
Out of Sight Out of Mind- ATOTC the Musical 
Death Rides a Horse theme- Ennio Morricone
Reach- S Club 7
Slow Love Slow- Nightwish
Caged- Within Temptation

47. If you could meet anyone on earth, who would it be?
Only one person? This is hard! I would love to meet Helena Bonham Carter though. Or Vienna Teng. Just to see how their minds work. I can't choose!!! 

48. What is your favorite blog currently?
I follow a lot of blogs so if I am following you then obviously I like what you have to say and you are one of my favorites. =)

49. What's the farthest you've ever been from home?
I would say either California or Florida.

50. What's the one thing you're afraid of?  
I don't tell people what I am afraid of. They can use it against you.