Thursday, April 24, 2014

Cold Water Challenge!

Here are my two cents about the cold water challenge. 
This is absolutely ridiculous. So ridiculous that the word absolutely doesn't even cover how freaking stupid I think this is. 

What the challenge is;
 People jump into freezing water then they will tag their friends below their video post claiming that if they don't do the challenge (jump in some type of cold water) then they have to donate $100 to charity. If the tagged people listen to you and attempt the challenge it's the charity of the idiots choice, if the tagged person tells you to eff off then the tagger forces those people to donate money to THEIR charity, which could be a charity titled "Ricky's Student Loans" for all we know. 

Either way,  if you don't jump into some cold water you HAVE to give money to your friends charity. Because your friend told you to. And you HAVE to listen to your friend because they CHALLENGED you.

Or a better explanation of what this challenge is from a guy on Tumblr;
Cold water challenge is something some asshats in the country in ohio seem to be doing just for kicks, even though they say it’s for charity but if you ask what the charity is they have no idea, the concept is that you get tagged by someone who’s done the challenge and then you go out to your pond (since we’re in the country we swim in ponds) and jump in the freezing cold water (because it’s Ohio and the water’s about 45 degrees.) and then you have to swim back to shore and stand in the cold while you tag three people you want to do the same challenge. What’s stupid is they don’t realize they can get hypothermia and their muscles can spasm and they can drown. So not only is the point stupid, but the things that could possibly happen is stupid as well. 

^Dude makes a very good point. 

But the main point I'd like to make is, you don't HAVE to do anything. I know someone out there right now will be like; "Haha if you don't do anything then you owe my charity money." No. No. No. I GIVE YOU AND YOUR CHARITY NOTHING. You're not getting $100 just so you can donate it to a charity of YOUR choice because I don't accept this peer pressure BS could-catch-hypothermia challenge. I will give my money to the charities I picked to donate to years ago and you can go tie yourself to a tree because I'm not dealing with you and I'm sure as hell not paying you because I don't feel like being an icicle. 

Not to mention 99% of the people doing this aren't even donating to charity. Rather, they are jumping in water in their hot new swimsuits just to show off. Because as we all know, social media will always transform something meant for a good cause into something about you. Sad but true statement.

At my old house I used to jump in my pool whenever we opened it in like May, and it was cold and I swam in it for 20 minutes or so. And I never got any money. OR hypothermia. I think I got lucky on that last one but I did it because I'm badass, not because someone pressured me to do it. I just watched 5 of these videos where some fools are going into the water for 2 seconds then running out because of the coldness factor. Or screeching then running out like a duckling who just got separated from it's flock. You people are weak. At least try to last 30 seconds, give us that. Or better yet, you can try staying in the water for 24 hours which is the time frame you have given all the people you have challenged to be charitable to charity.

"But I only have 10 seconds of recording on my Iphone!" is not an excuse to be lame. Use a camcorder, those things do still exist. Or better yet, don't do the challenge! Brilliant ideas I have sometimes.

I've seen about 20 idiots on my Facebook jumping into cold water so far. Life choices, ya'll need to make BETTER ONES.  You should donate to a charity because you want to donate to a charity, not because your stupid friend tagged you in a stupid post on a stupid social networking site for stupids.  Being nominated through social media to donate money to some charity is absurd. And when something is absurd, we talk about it and laugh at the absurdity on this blog. 
Some FB posts;

  • I can't believe I took the #crazygirlstatus- More like hashtag attentionseekerstatus. You CHOSE to accept the challenge. 
  • CWC4TW- I can actually understand this (sadly.) Cold water challenge for the win!!! Uh... you don't win any cool points when you jump into cool water unless you are a polar bear.

  • My boy Kenny done did the cold water challenge- Note to readers; NEVER say "done did."
  • Im gonna cry! Just got tagged for the cold water challenge!- Save your tears girly gumdrops. You'll be crying a lot more when you jump into that leech filled pond.
  • I love watching all of these cold water challenge videos. So simple, so fun, and so helpful.- You are living in la la Land if you really think these videos are 'helpful' to a cancer patient in any way.
  • Your going to hell if you don't do the cold water challenge- Yaaay! Hell time! I hear that place can be hot.

Now, if anyone decides to tag me for this stupid STUPID thing
Or better yet, I will find you. Then I will find a freezing body of water then place your head under the water for a long time. Then we will see what happens. Probably nothing good.

I shall now leave you all on a happier note unrelated to lameness with Bill Cosby dancing in a challenging way.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Rating System

Lately it has come to my attention that the new in thing on Facebook is 'rating people.' Thank God none of my acquaintances on there have done this yet (at least not that I am aware of) or we might have to have a little sit down strangulation bonding time to discuss their douche-baggery and/or bitchocity.

In case you are not informed of this system yet, it is when stupid moron idiot loser hell-ass people rate girls, sometimes guys, on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the more 'beautiful' or 'bangable.' I admit, people do rate others on their attractiveness. It shouldn't happen, but it does. But it shouldn't. And it most definite shouldn't happen on Facebook or some other social network. OR EVER.

Then there's the whole "date" or "pass" system going on on tumblr. That shouldn't be a thing either. If you don't know this person on tumblr in real life then you have no business passing on them or dating them. That is stupid.

Now if you are one of those fools who post a photo and tell others to rate you from 1-10, you need to stop. This is an obvious cry for attention. Stop doing this. If you are rated an 8 and start crying because of your rating then it is hard for me to feel sorry for you because the whole rating thing was your idea.

I remember in middle school this used to be a big thing. Most of the guys in my class used to rate the girls on how beautiful they were. Not only that, they rated them to their faces! A guy came up to me one morning and was like "I give you a six." I had no idea what he was even talking about and was even more confused when he went back over to his buddies to give them a high five. Yes, because rating a person on their looks is oh so high five worthy. My friend had to explain to me what that meant and needless to say I was furious and a little sad because back in middle school being anymore below an 8 on the beauty scale was not a good thing! But yeah, he gave me a six. A freaking six? Screw you little middle school boy, I'm a 10!

One of my friends put it the best on Facebook "Guys who rate girls, are losers that don't date girls." Ditto for females who rate. If you feel the need to be rated and actually take this rating thing seriously then I truly hope you find some self confidence. You don't need a rating, just be the best you that you can be. As for the people who enjoy "rating" they are shallow and conceited and aren't even worth a moment of your time or deserve a place thoughts.  These people who keep rating are only giving generic answers of how "attractive" one is based on their own perspective. Usually their perspective sucks.

If you have been one of the unfortunate rating victims then you need to know that the people who are rating you are the truly ugly ones and you shouldn't pay any attention to their stupid rating answer. You are beautiful and are a 10. Remember that. Unless of course your are a spiteful little rater, then you are a -100 and don't deserve to even be reading this blog.

Now rate me on a scale of 1 to 10. I freaking dare you.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Idiots on Facebook Round 6!

Worki on the Chevy.... Hahaha with skill- HAHAHA! As opposed to working on the chevy WITHOUT skill!

Just a day shooting guns.... Do i have to mention she looks damn sexy  love ya babe- But what does shooting a gun have to do with a sexy lady? Unless of course you are calling the gun sexy and telling it that you love it, which I guess that is not my place to question. 

Shes looking sexy now!!! With the 33 in the front and 35 in the back.... Hillbilly Nascar right thur.... Now i just need 2 more 33 lazt!- When has everyone suddenly become sexy?!?!? Grr. I don't know what those numbers mean but you just said Hillbilly Nascar and that is reason enough for me to avoid you forever. And is lazt truly a word? Or have we really become so lazy that typing 'lazy' out on our keyboard is too much of a hassle? I think I am going to try using lazt in every day conversation from now on, like this;

Person: You're a girl!

More day week. Anyone feel like finding some trouble tomorrow night? — (Tags 28 people)- I'm not even surprised how this guy tagged all his "troublesome" friends. I'm more curious as to what a day week is

Been out in the woods all day got the ranuoger a lil muddy an found out jeep is bad ass hahaha jus gotta go fast.- Yes. It is always a swell idea to drive at a fast pace, especially when a friendly park ranger/police man catches you. And here's some advice incase you wish to have any future endeavors with your ranuoger jeep thing; mud does not make any motor vehicle camouflaged

Trashy people goona break in my car steal my wallet money an tryed to get my cd player but they wow f*** u trash @ss people!- What on earth are you trying to spell to me you awkward young heathen?

Staying hr all week my baby girl should be her soon I hope mybe can't wait to see her- So you may be seeing your girlfriend hopefully maybe? This sounds alarming! Maybe you should give her a call and ask her if she's still alive! That may be helpful!

For everyone 4 thinks I have changed in thy last year us are right I have changed but it's for the best I had to grow up for my d8er single parent you have to gret up and do thingz yes it was my choice but it was all for ma little princess I didn't change because of anyone and if people don't like how I have changed then it's whatever.

A good question; HOW do people like this reproduce?!?!? And you know her daughters a brat, you just know it! 

My hand hurts bad, I havent hand written a paper in like 10 years lol, but im almost done with it, feeling excided to go back to school, hoping everything goes good- Now this is not the most horrible post in the entire world, but it is a foreign concept to me considering I always hand write everything before typing it up (usually.) I'm not one of those people who can sit at a computer and think of creative words right off the bat while staring at a blank screen. That probably sounds weird, but it's kind of how I am. 

Question time! 
What is the strangest thing you have ever read or seen on Facebook? Comment below! =)

Thursday, April 3, 2014

I Am Apparently Not Blogging This

It is now officially 1:40 am here in Michigan. Which means that it is the most perfect and excellent time to call random people up in the dead of night and scream at them about their non-existent pregnancies!

My phone rang and considering that it was such an ABSURD time I thought that maybe one of my families houses was on fire. Or someone died. Or someone got beaten up by a hobo with a club sandwich. Basically I don't know what's going on but it must be pretty important to telephone my household at 1:30 in the morning.

However, that was not the case at all! I got to have a wonderful conversation with Billy Son Man Jr about how I am a complete prostitute! I bet the ladies of the street in Les Mis didn't have to go through this telephone nonsense!

Here is how this conversation went;

Me (half asleep): Hello?
Me: Whaaat?
Billy Son Man Jr: You heard me you slutbag ho! What'd I keep reminding you of when we got engaged? PROTECTION. PROTECTION. PROTECTION. You can't go sleeping with others unless I approve of the intimacy! And ta hell if I'm the father! I ALWAYS use our fave protection!
Me: A life vest? (Hahahaha. Hooray for bad jokes at 1:30 in the morning!) 
Me: No. You called the wrong number. However I did appreciate listening to your tyrannical ranting on this fine evening. Thank you. You have just given me something to blog about.
Me: 0_0 Not on my waaaaatch. Goodbye! (hangs up phone.)

Didn't he seem like such a nice fellow? So nice that I even gave him a name. I weep real life tears for you Tasha. There is so much wrong with this, and that makes the entire thing hilarious. I kind of wish I would have said yes to being Tasha's roommate. I bet Billy had some words for her as well! I'm quite positive that I will get to see this guys face one day for he and Tasha are destined for a future episode of Maury.