Sunday, October 12, 2014

Invitations

Three. That's how many wedding invitations I received in the mail today. I like weddings, (drinks all around!) don't get me wrong but you know, it would be nice to actually BE in a wedding and not sit in the audience with a fake smile plastered on my face while watching the brides family members cry over their daughters white gown of holy matrimony. I am there for cake. I am happy for you but really, cake is the only reason I will go to your wedding. That and to make snide remarks in my head about how much weddings suck. And if your wedding doesn't have cake then you are doing it wrong and I will be very unhappy and disappointed about your life choices.

My dads girlfriends daughter is getting married. I am obliged (aka forced) to go to that wedding. She is getting married before me to some random guy I've never met before who apparently doesn't have a job and can barely afford an apartment and wants to move to Detroit to become the next Eminem. Really. Those were his words to my dad. I honestly did not see this wedding coming. I cannot believe the mother is even allowing this wedding to happen. But I will just say right now that there more than likely will be a blog post about this wedding event. I can see this being blog-worthy in the most cringeable way.

image
^Oprah knows what's up with my life.

The other two wedding invitations were from one of my high school friends who I haven't spoken to in years and one from a distant cousin who lives in San Francisco who I haven't seen since I was 5. I was thinking about traveling to San Fran but  plane tickets are quite costly and I really don't know this cousin enough to shell out hundreds of dollars for a plane ticket.

Then I found out that my former best friend just got engaged to her girlfriend on Facebook. They have been dating for ONE MONTH. It seems like they really love each other but  I personally feel that one month is a bit too short of a time period to know if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. I also feel that none of this is really my business or concern, yet here I am talking about people and their future wedding plans.

The room is spinning and I have no way of making it stop. It's like everything I learned or thought I knew of marriage and love and commitment  is a lie. I blame period dramas because blaming myself for my lack of love life would be a very lame thing to do.

As much as I joke that I never want to get married I kind of do hope to be married someday. But the sad reality is that I'm going to die alone. Nobody takes any interest in me. Nobody ever will. And if you want to comment and say something along the lines of "You're 23! There's still time for you to find love! Bleblarblu" I may be 23 but that doesn't mean anyone could ever grow to love me. My family doesn't even care about me, why would anyone else? Dying alone is my biggest fear. I've never told anyone that but it truly terrifies me, because there is a large possibility of that happening. What if nobody knows who I am at the time of my death? Would my headstone just be left blank? I had a dream about that last week. I was standing over my own headstone. Great thing to dream about, right?

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Casting People Who Don't Audition

I have been really sucking at keeping this blog updated. Part of it is because I've been really busy and part of it is because I've been writing everything down in a paper notebook for the past few months or so. But for some reason today I thought "Hey, I haven't blogged in awhile. Let's do that!" So here I am again.

Anyways, let the record show that today was a truly terrible day for me. I auditioned for a play this week. It was supposed to only be a one day thing but because some asses from a different theatre in the town couldn't  audition on the day scheduled the process was a two day thing. And it was Shakespeare mixed with a current movie theme. I love me some Shakespeare and movies are pretty cool so I was just excited and happy to audition. Only about 6 people showed up the first day, the the second day three of us from the previous day showed up unknowing that it was to be another audition day and besides us three only three other people showed up. All in all 9 people auditioned, not including me, so 10 in total.

This director emails us the cast list today and let's just say that seven of the ten people cast DIDN'T EVEN AUDITION. WTF is that all about?!?!? And then they give me a role with TWO BLOODY LINES. I am not picky about which roles I get, as an actor who hasn't seen the stage for a few years you can't be picky, but if I am driving 25 minutes to this college IN NOVEMBER IN THE SNOW then it better be worth my time. Two lines are not worth my time and I am going to have to pass on this.

Then to make me feel even more special about my role, sir director made a little side note that said that anyone without an asterisk next to their name (which was only me and two other people) wouldn't be needed until 1 pm on the rehearsal dates while all the other cast gets to come in and read stuff and rehearse at  10 am. Nothing brings a cast closer together than separating them then adding some random two liner people in at a 30 minute rehearsal. X_X



Kind of ridiculous if you ask me. I think I'm mostly irritated by the fact that people who didn't even audition got roles. I question that so much and makes me truly hate the production and the people who didn't audition and the director for even thinking this was a good idea. Thus why I'm passing on performing in this. I mean, if the director called me and was like "Hey, would you like this role for a play you didn't even audition for?" I would probably hesitatingly take it. But that's not what happened in this case and honestly I'm glad it didn't and I hope it never does. I would never feel right about taking a role I didn't even audition for and the guilt would eat me up inside. Yes, having someone think you are great and reliable as an actor is wonderful, but there should be some rules layed out, rules such as YOU HAVE TO AUDITION TO GET A FREAKING ROLE!

I have a question about this entire thing. Is this the norm in other places, to cast people who didn't even audition? Because I am getting fed up with it. It's seems to have happened/is happening a lot near my area and it seems hokey to me. But maybe that is how it works in places like Chicago and New York and I'm only now coming to a discovery about what's going on.

Bold what’s true about you. A survey type thing I did.

I am under 18. 
I am a cuddler. 
I am a morning person. 
I am an only child.
I am currently in my “pajamas”.
I am currently pregnant.
I am left handed.
l am right handed.
I am ambidextrous. 
I am a little shy around the opposite sex.
I bite my nails.
I can be paranoid at times.
I enjoy folk music.
I enjoy smoothies.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I have a car.
I have/had a hard time paying attention at school.
I have a hidden talent.
I have a pet.
I have a tendency to fall for the “wrong” person.
I have all my grandparents
I have been to another country.
I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor.
I have or had broken a bone.

I have caller I.D. on my phone. 
I have bathed someone.
I have changed a diaper
I have changed a lot over the past year.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have had major/minor surgery.
I have killed another person. (Oh my God, really? Who would admit to this?!?!? 0_0) 
I have had my hair cut within the last week.
I have mood swings.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I have rejected someone before. 
I like the taste of blood. (?????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!) 
I like Michael Jackson.
I love sleeping.
I love to shop.
I own 100 CDs or more
I own and use a library card. (Well I DID. Everything is going digital now, including the library card system which is a shame.) 
I read books for pleasure in my spare time.
I sleep a lot during the day.
I watch soap operas on a regular basis.
I work at a job that I enjoy.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I am wearing socks.
I am tired.
I love to paint/draw/sketch/sculpt
I consume at least one alcoholic drink every month.
I have/had:
Finished college. 
Smoked cigarettes.
Ridden every ride at an amusement park.
Collected something really stupid. 
Gone to a concert.
Helped someone.
Spun turn tables.
Watched four movies in one night.
Been broken up with.
Taken a college level course.
Been in a car accident.
Been in a tornado.
Watched someone die.
Been to a funeral.
Burned yourself. (On accident!) 
Ran a marathon.
Your parents got divorced.
Cried yourself to sleep.
Spent over $200 in one day
Cheated on someone.
Been cheated on.
Written a 10 page letter. 
Had a best friend.
Lost someone you loved.
Skipped school.
Gotten in trouble for something you didn’t do.
Stolen books from the library. 
Fired a gun.
Been in a school play.
Been fired from a job.
Taken a lie detector test.
Swam with dolphins.
Written poetry.
Read more than 20 books a year.
Gone to Europe.
Loved someone you couldn’t have.
Used a coloring book over age 12.
Had surgery.
Had stitches.

Taken a taxi.
Had more than 5 online conversations going at once.
Had a hamster.
Dyed your hair.
Had something pierced.
Gotten straight A’s.
Been handcuffed.
My hair is naturally the colour:
Light brown
Medium brown
Dark brown
Blonde
Black
Dirty blond
Strawberry blond
Multicoloured
Red
My eyes are:
Brown
Dark Brown
Blue
Green
Hazel
Light brown
Black
Gray 
People sometimes label me as:
Slut
Boyish
Colorful
Ugly
Nerd
Other
Some of my biggest fears are:
Spiders / insects
Slimy things
Dying
Doctor/Dentist appointments
Hospitals
Needles
Disease
Being alone in the dark
Heights
Small spaces
Oceans
Large animals
Small animals 
Open spaces
Lightning
Thunder
Tornadoes 
Clustered holes
Bodily fluids
Corpses
I have:
A friend with benefits
A laptop in my room
A television in my room
My own car
Parents who are still married

Monday, August 18, 2014

The Ice Bucket Challenge!

Yes, this "challenge" is for a good cause. No, that does not mean you have to participate in it or donate any of your hard earned cash just because someone challenged you to dump some freaking ice on your head. Why? Because I said so, that's why.  But really, most of the people who have already participated in this challenge never even had a damn clue what the challenge was for to begin with! That irritates me so much.  FYI for all you people out there who are still unaware of this thing, dumping buckets of ice on your head is somehow related to curing Lou Gehrig's disease. Because that makes sense. Oh and sadly there is still no cure for Lou Gehrig's disease and if anyone tells you otherwise or says that this is what the challenge is for, to "raise money to cure ALS" please kick them in the face. Hard. It is a good thing that people want to raise awareness for this and I give people props for actually donating money to the cause because they want to, but there are other ways to let people know about Lou Gehrig's disease, ways in which nobody needs to have ice poured on their head. 

 To those who have no idea what I'm talking about, the rules of this challenge are below:
You take a video of yourself dumping a bucket of ice water on your head, post it to FacebookInstagram, Tumblr, or Twitter and then challenge your friends to do the same within 24 hours or donate $100 to an ALS charity of your choice. 

How in the world is this raising awareness for ALS? Again I'll give people credit for doing this considering the charity probably was in need of money for research and what not (most charities usually are) and it has raised $15.6 million since July, but I'm just not following how ice+head= Lou Gehrig's disease awareness.  Nor do some of these participants even care about the awareness part, they only want to be seen as charitable and a good person because they dumped some ice water on their head. Ask one, JUST ONE, of these people what Lou Gehrig's disease is and have them try to explain the symptoms to you without getting on their phone and going to the ALS website. It should make for an interesting conversation. 

I can actually see this becoming another sad trend for social networking and real life. People are going to start using this challenge so they can have a "beneficially good and charitable" reason to force their softball coach into pouring ice on their head. Back in my days of softball (in 1999) us kids used to pour buckets of water on the coaches head because we were freaking awesome, not because of some stupid challenge our Facebook friend from Oregon forced us to partake in.  Like I said when the cold water challenge was a big thing (which this basically is with a different name); You should donate to a charity because you want to donate to a charity, not because your stupid friend tagged you in a stupid post on a stupid social networking site for stupids.  Being nominated through social media to donate money to some charity is absurd. 

Only donate to a charity if you believe in said charity. If you believe in the ALS charity and want to help them out then do so because you WANT to, not because of the stupid social networking stuff.

 Oh and it's still summer and in Michigan it continues to be warm and muggy. Not much of a challenge to dump some ice water on your head in crazy heat conditions if you ask me. =/

I actually read this article today (after being challenged, and then telling the person who challenged me where they could put their ice) and I enjoyed it very much. The writer makes a lot of good points and I strongly encourage you to read this. I especially enjoyed the last three paragraphs.
http://www.slate.com/blogs/future_tense/2014/08/12/icebucketchallenge_you_don_t_need_an_ice_bucket_to_donate_to_als_research.html
This one was a pretty good read as well;
http://www.writtalin.com/social/ice-bucket-challenge-stupid/
^California is going through a drought right now and Californians are still participating in this challenge. If you live in California let's NOT be doing this!

To end this little post, I shall leave you with this awesome video of Charlie Sheen doing this crazy challenge in a stylin' way.


Edit: Someone just messaged me saying that this challenge was created because it makes your body numb to show how people with the disease feel. Words cannot even describe the anger I have for this. Pouring ice on yourself shows you how the people with Lou Gehrig's disease feel? Try living with the disease 24/7 and then maybe just MAYBE you could feel the numbness these people feel every day of their freaking lives. This has to be the most ridiculous thing I have heard about the stupid challenge this week. If you don't have Lou Gehrig's disease there is no possible freaking way you could ever even imagine how they truly feel. I never want to hear things like this again. 

Saturday, July 19, 2014

This Is A Handy List

I came across this list on the Internet earlier today which is officially titled "60 Little Tips That Can Change a Girl's Life." Now I'm not one to usually read these types of things all the way through but I felt that this list deserved a re-post because of how it assumes to know the mind and life of  all girls and significantly put them into a tiny group and makes random presumptions about them. That is insane. I shall now go through the list and fully explain how most of these things do not specifically apply to me. 

One small step for girls, one giant leap for womankind.
  1. Download a banking app.- I have a very old cell phone with no Internet and no app features. And even if I did have an iPhone 9.12 or whatever I would never pay for a banking app. I would go to this real building place called a bank and either withdraw or deposit money in that place.
  2. Drink more herbal tea. It will save your life.- No it won't. If I had a major stomach ulcer drinking herbal tea would be the last thing I would want to do. Hey, if they can make assumptions 58 more times then so can I.
  3. Making your own coffee/tea instead of buying it will make you a rich woman.- Not if you don't drink coffee or tea or if you are one of those uninformed people who buys 50 boxes of Tazo tea AT Starbucks.
  4. Always have at least 6 chap sticks stocked up.- But why? You can only use one at a time. And I would recommend that the chapstick you do use is quality stuff. 
  5. Check out thrift stores. You may have to wash things three times before you get the old lady smell out, but it’s well worth it.- There are no thrift stores around my area. Plus there is a likely chance that if you wash thrifty items several times then the color will fade or the fabric will somehow be destroyed. 
  6. Never buy cheap jeans.- I wouldn't buy jeans from Walmart but I'm not going to Nordstrom and paying $250 for some dark jeans. That's not a savvy idea. 
  7. Buy cheap sunglasses instead.- How about not telling me what to do with my money?
  8. Don’t chase boys.- But what if the boy took my purse? Am I not supposed to chase him down then?
  9. Wrinkle spray and a hair dryer erase all need to ever use an iron for all of you lazy ironers like me.- Or you could iron your hair, get a Brazilian Blowout, or a perm if you are seriously that lazy. 
  10. Wear slippers when you have to drive in heels.- Why would someone ever have to drive in heels? 
  11. Wear slippers when you’re travelling.- Ok, I'll give them this one. Maybe you shouldn't wear them all the time but packing a pair of slippers on vacation is a smart move especially if you get blisters and still have a ton of stuff to do. 
  12. Wear slippers at all moments that it’s even slightly acceptable to wear slippers.- Like in your house? At night?
  13. Spend a little extra money on your make up; it’s so worth it.- Here's a fun fact; that Guerlain mascara works just as well as Maybelline for making your eyelashes fuller and darker. My tip; Skin care. Spend extra on skin care. Foundation can only hide so much. 
  14. Get running sneakers that are actually effective and not just cute.- What if they are cute and comfy? Can't that be a thing? Yes. Yes it can.
  15. NEVER go to bed with your make up on.- True dat.
  16. Get like a thousand packs of make up wipes, because they work the best.- NO THEY DON'T! All of those stupid things make my face all red and break out! ALL. OF.THEM. Ponds cold cream is the best in my world. 
  17. Buy your wine from a box, it’s way more cost efficient and being “wine classy” is so overrated.- I don't drink wine. And I think it would impress more people if you drank Chardonnay rather than drinking Night Train Express, if "impressiveness" is what you are aiming for. (I have no idea why my blog keeps spaced this all weirdly. Apologies for that!) 
  18. Carry headphones in your pocket at all times.- Yet another way for people to disengage in conversation with one another. Great idea! Next thing you know people will stop talking altogether thanks to technology. Kind of sad really. 
  19. Pick your girls over your boyfriend often, because almost always, the guys come and go and the girls are still there.- Or if you're like me all of your "girls" would have already picked their boyfriend/girlfriend over you 99.9% of the time years ago and you will be left with no friends and no boyfriend and only a cat. 
  20. Get a really nice strapless or “sticky bra” and you will realize how much better everything looks without your old straps popping out.- I actually had to look up what a "sticky bra" was. Disturbing. It's basically like silicone/cotton fake boobs sticking to your real boobs! Let's NOT do that! 
  21. Wash your face. - Wow! If I didn't read that I would have surely forgotten! Thanks list maker person!
  22. THE DOLLAR TREE CAN AND WILL SAVE YOUR SOUL.- The lady at the Dollar Tree kicked me out of the store in a rude fashion. Apparently the store was supposed to open tomorrow yet they had the doors wide open that day.
  23. Never neglect to paint your toe nails.- I always forget to paint my toenails. And what if it's winter? Who exactly are you going to impress with your painted toenails under some shoes?
  24. Eat breakfast.- Yes. 
  25. Make a summer playlist for when you need to walk in the cold and start actually getting depressed.- I don't even know what this is trying to tell me. Walk to a "summer playlist." I'm guessing that means happy music. As opposed to the "Depressing songs that are depressing while needing to walk in the cold" playlist. 
  26. Get a super awesome coffee mug.- Or you can buy a lemonade pitcher. Or a punch bowl! Hooray for extreme beverage holders!
  27. Realize that you can pull off red lipstick, rock it girl.- So you are implying that boys can't also pull off the super rockin' red lips. 
  28. Make guys take you on dates that don’t involve a bar or dingy basement.- Really? REALLY?!??! People actually agree to dates of this sort? 
  29. Never try dieting pills or fads. It’s all a bunch of garbage, just be healthy.- More likely these things can possibly kill you and cause a ton of freaking problems in the long run. 
  30. Call your mom when you need help.- I can agree with this, yet there are some people out there who aren't lucky enough to have parents that can help them. People need to start remembering that some people have horrible parents. 
  31. Forget name brands. No one really cares, and you will have three times the wardrobe to choose from if you shop at Tj Maxx and Marshalls first.- Don't tell people where they should shop. And if someone wants to spend $35 on Billabong because it makes them feel pretty then good for them. Shop wherever the hell you want. 
  32. Make sure you have at least one friend that likes your favorite TV shows.- I don't think any of my friends watch any of my favorite TV shows. 
  33. And your favorite snacks.- Anyone here like popcorn? If so then you are my new friend. Friendships are made from popcorn. 
  34. There is this amazing invention called “boob tape” to wear with strapless dresses and you need to purchase it. You don’t need twenty candid photos of you pulling up your dress on the dance floor at a formal event anymore.- I need to check into this "boob tape" stuff. 
  35. Ask for a white coat underneath the color when you get your nails done and the color you wanted looks so much more vibrant. Also, go for the glitz nail.- DON'T TELL PEOPLE WHAT COLOR PEOPLE SHOULD PAINT THEIR NAILS. This girl is extremely bossy. And I have never in my life gotten my nails done at a manicure place. That probably seems strange but I really have no desire to do so. I mean, I guess I could go get a manicure  but it's not something I would take time out of my schedule to do.
  36. Never spend too much time crying over a boy.- Why is time italicized? Is this some new spunky trend I should be aware of? Also, never cry over someone else, especially if they can't see what a precious gem you are. Crying over people who could care less about you is a terrible thing to do. 
  37. Order the dressing or sauce on the side ladies. You’d be amazed at the difference.- NO! If I want the waitress or waiter to put that horribly calorific ranch on top of my salad then they better put that ranch atop of thy salad! I would be AMAZED if they decided to NOT do as requested. And usually the dressing does come on the side so this is irrelevant information.
  38. Always try clothing on before you buy it. Don’t even try to reason with yourself, “Well I don’t need to try this on”, yes you do.- Unless you buy 10 of the same colored shirt in the same style of the same brand. 
  39. Drink as much water as humanly possible.- Nah. Drinking water is for squares. Today I feel like drinking waters twin brother, sir rum.
  40. One foundation does not fit all. Your skin is unique; so spend the time to get a foundation that doesn’t look like you just smudged your face with paint.- But what if I want to look like a painter in the park? Maybe I was blending swatches on my face. You don't know my life!!! 
  41. Use your iCalendar on your phone for reminders. It sends you emails and will give you instant organization.- WTF is an iCalendar? Why must people use their phone for everything these days? Idea: buy a pocket sized calender and write important stuff on it! You can become organized that way too, all by yourself. 
  42. Get a microwaveable heat pad. Your cramps and back will thank you for the rest of your days.- Not going to argue with this because all girls cycles are different and there are different ways to cure cramps. I like Midol, but that's just what works for me. One solution does not help all. 
  43. Understand that Ben and Jerry’s will always be the best remedy for a broken heart and no shame is ever needed in that.- I'm sure someone is bound to eventually feel shameful when they eat 50 containers worth of cherry garcia ice cream in a row. Don't do that. Ice cream is absolutely delicious but there are better ways to cure a broken heart, like ARCHERY!!! 
  44. Stock your car, desk, and bags with hand sanitizer.- Or M&Ms. I like M&Ms.
  45. Keep Advil in your purse for your every day headaches.- If you have a headache every single day there is an underlying problem there. Go to your doctor and check that out.
  46. Band-Aids too, heels are beautiful little monsters.- What the frick?!?!? Yeah, because whenever I look at my heels I always think "oh what beautiful littler monsters you are." Who refers to anything as beautiful little monsters? That's an oxymoron! How about we keep band aids on our person just in case a random guy decides to forget to take his headache meds that morning, is forced to take Advil out of desperation, and then he goes into a rage and stabs you! Band-aids could be somewhat helpful in that case! 
  47. Befriend store associates because they actually will help you.- And I always thought being rude to the store associates and calling them names would make them be my bff for life. Oh the many mistakes I have made! 
  48. Light butter popcorn is actually a great choice.- A great choice for what? President? World leader? Lawyer?  
  49. Exercise when you’re stressed out.- When I'm stressed out I sleep. And if you are stressed out over work or schoolwork how is exercising going to de-stress you? 
  50. You can and will never have too many pairs of underwear. Buy as many as you want girlfriend.- Please stop referring to your readers as 'girlfriend' and stuff like that. It irritates me so much. Kind of like how people are referring to each other as 'bae' on all those social networking sites these days. Bae is an idiotic word. Stop using it. 
  51. Find the perfect moisturizer.- Hey, the moisturizer that makes my face look purple is may not be perfect but let's just say that it makes me feel like a superstar fairy princess lady.
  52. Accessories are life changing.- Another thing that could possibly be life changing; ending world hunger. 
  53. Take bubble baths.- Alright. When you find a bubble bath that doesn't make my skin break out in a rash let me know. 
  54. Have granola bars on hand at all times.- I'll go with this one. However fruit snacks are also good things to have on hand for snack purposes. 
  55. Read as much as you can for your own enjoyment. You shouldn’t forget about what interests you.- So by reading books you will remember what interests you? I'm not even sure how these two things relate.
  56. Look natural in photos and smile with your teeth. Don’t do that weird grimace smile; your teeth are perfect just the way they are.- No they're not! Stop lying to everyone! My teeth are spaced a little because I was really stupid and didn't wear my retainer after getting my braces off! 
  57. Don’t blow off going to the doctor or dentist. It’s incredibly important to take care of your body.- Or you could take care of your body and also go to the doctor and dentist. What a brilliant idea I have! 
  58. Get your beauty sleep.- I have insomnia. 
  59. Use hand lotion.- Instead of hot sauce. 
  60. Make chocolate chip pancakes when ever possible.- Here's a funny story. I tried making pancakes once, regular pancakes. No fruit or anything in them, plain ole' pancakes. I set them on fire at a Sunday community breakfast place thing my dad took me to and he volunteered me to help out behind the scenes. Bad ideas were had that day! I burnt the pancakes (at least 5) and then blamed it on the other girl who was helping. Turns out the other girl was the man in charge's daughter and she was the princess of the place and could do no wrong and she went on a huge tangent on how I was a liar and needed to SPILL THE TRUTH. I spilled the truth alright. I told the breakfast helper people and they were all super mad at me and refused to speak to me or made snotty comments directed towards me the rest of the morning.  I was 13! I didn't know how to make pancakes!  The fire department wasn't needed, they should have given me a break! I never went back there after that incident. I think I am officially banned from that place. But there is a good side to this story. When I got home that night my mom taught me how to make pancakes and now I can make them all by myself, even the ones with bananas and strawberries and chocolate chips and I haven't burnt one since. So ha! Take that community breakfast place!