Sunday, February 19, 2012


Today when I was in my kitchen making some tea the doorbell rang and it just happened to be my neighbor wondering if I had any spare needle and thread because she was making her neice's prom dress. After giving my neighbor these items she tells me that "my prom day will be coming soon." When I explained to her that I was about ready to graduate from community college she starts bombarding me about questions related to prom. What type of dress did I wear? Were the guys too touchy feely? What time did my mom want me home? Where was the location? Was my date cute? I basically had to tell her that I was a sad unfortunate soul that never went to prom but hoped that her niece had a good time. She left after that and that got me to thinking and when I think about things I must blog about them.

That's right I never went to prom. Do I regret it? Not really. Just because all of my family went to prom and homecoming and snowcoming dances does not mean I had to! My cousin actually found me such a sad case that she told her SENIOR FRIEND I had barely spoken to before to ask me. Thank God he never did and I only had to hear that story from her mouth.

I probably would have gone if I had a date (which was unlikely) or friends. But considering I was not really close to anyone my senior year that wasn't really an option so I skipped it. And cried. And ate popcorn and laughed at terrible scary melodramatic movies airing on the Lifetime Womans Network.

I wanted a dress. I have always wanted a fancy dress. The only way I would have got a pretty fancy dress is if I was nominated for court which I was not. People showed me their dresses, I got mad. I needed a reason for getting a dress and I never had a plausible one.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

The Perfect Valentine's Day Gift!

Music: Hands by Jewel

Tonight I just happened to see this commercial playing atleast THRICE while I was watching Person of Interest on NBC and felt the need to post it here!

Am I seriously the only person cracking up because of it's stupidity? And no, I don't mean the stupidity of this commercial airing four days after Saint Valentine was buried in Rome.
"Because AFTER the movie is over, happy Valentine's Day- to you." BWAHAHAHA! According to this commercial if you give your significant other Breaking Dawn you will get laid! Hell to the no it won't! If anyone was foolish enough to get me this they would not get laid. They would get set afire! What person in their right mind on any day would value their lover with sexy times after recieving this?

I seriously think that telling your audience that this movie is better than recieving flowers (which are lovely), teddy bears, and chocolate is idiotic!

Mr. Chocolate Guy does not approve of this in any way!!!

Thursday, February 16, 2012


Just thought I would make a post to tell everyone that I am sick and have been coughing my lungs out since Tuesday and can still barely breathe. I've been drinking G2 Gatorade and doing my breathing treatment since yesterday when it got real bad but today I'm feeling a little better and am now craving Subway, which is 
strange. My mom made a doctor's appointment for me tomorrow which I am hoping will help somewhat but as of right now I am planning to struggle through my theatre rehearsal even if it kills me. I don't want people to be stealing anymore of my parts on account of me feeling suckish.

Yes I realize that this post is completely irrelevant to anything, but I needed something to do and writing helps sometimes. If I had to just sit and do nothing for another hour my brain would have died.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentine's Day Suck Curse Strikes Again!

Music: The Water Is Wide by Hayley Westenra

I hope everyone who does not have my curse had a wonderful day today!

I got up extremely unrested this morning and like I mentioned yesterday whenever a thought of being cautious on this holiday happens and I forget about my wise advice, something bad always happens. EVERY TIME on this date! So as I was walking up the little sidewalk to the college this morning at 7:40 (early like my teacher told us to be so we could listen to the author talk about his bread making experience ) as I was about ready to open the door some sorry excuse of a teenager decides it would be convivial to open the door 100 miles an hour in an angry way and hit me in the face with it before I could even blink. This idiot didn't even have the decency to say "I'm sorry" or "Here, let me pay the medical bill for your face which I just severely bruised!" No, instead this guy looks at me for 2 or so seconds and proceeds to walk briskly towards the parking lot.

Before the author came in I started conversing with these two ladies who I thought seemed cool at first until they mentioned how they hate reading unless it's Twilight. "Team Edward for the win!" one of them screamed out of absolutely nowhere. They were nice enough people at first but this is when I decided to go into the auditorium after grabbing some delicious free orange juice, provided only for us unlucky kids who were forced to listen to this author man speak.

Unfortunately for me one of these Twilight girls sat near me and assumed it would be neat to tell me what her plans with her boyfriend were for Valentine's Day, proceeding to show me a picture of said boyfriend on her cell phone. By the way (off topic) why do most girls and guys wish to show you a picture of their significant other? What exactly am I supposed to say? Every answer will be wrong, for it's either;
A. He/she is cute/pretty- Saying this results in long stories about their love life which I don't want to hear and 99% of the time my opinion on their cuteness is untrue.
B. They look like they got hit by a bus! - Rude answer and will also result in a long conversation about what a fantastic person they are.
Now the best answer I learned is;
 C. You two make a great couple! - Yes this may possibly a lie but it works!
If I have never met your boyfriend or girlfriend I do not have an opinion about them. Looks can only tell so much and I honestly find it kind of shallow when a person wants anothers opinion on their romantic companion, your opinion should be the only one that matters if you really like them.

Alright, end of off topicness. So Twilight girl sits next to me, shows me a picture of her boyfriend whilst telling me detailed information on how they will spend their evening and then carries on by claiming that she used to smoke tons of pot and only does this once in awhile now because she has a child. I think that deserves parent of the year award. 0_o

Before she could continue her mindless babbling Mr. Author guy stands up in front of the auditorium and introduces himself in the following way;
"Whattup hazardous college goers! My name's ____ and I'm here to talk to you all about my cool and fresh book!"
Me: Hazardous. College. Goers. Where'd I put that arsenic?

This guy tells us that he's now 62 years of age and spends the entire hour and a half reading his mediocre writing, trying to get us to buy his books, saying "therapeutic" every 10 seconds, saying nonsensical big words every 50, describing how he's a blue collar, and explaining to us the process of making bread the old country way. I always thought it would be fun to make bread but listening to a speech on how to make bread properly is beyond dull unless you are in a cooking class.

He then continues to try and get down on our level in a most creepy way! Examples include;
"Epic fail guy!"- towards the kid who stood up to get his coat that fell off the back of his chair.
"Oh Em Gee gally"- towards a PROFESSOR who asked a question. Technically the only people asking questions were the teaching staff.
I'm sure he said more teen slang words but once he started on a tangent about how to be a successful writer and a hot journalist I started losing interest and singing "Chim chiminey chim chiminey chim chim cher-ee! A sweep is as lucky as lucky can be!" in my head.

Sadly I felt really bad for this dude after awhile because he tried to keep telling us jokes and wanted us to laugh with him despite the fact that his jokes were about as funny as a news broadcast on world peace. As an example to this guys horrid jokes, he was telling us about his story on "how his pup took a coyot (coyote?) from the barn!" and some girl sneezed. His joke; "Are yoooouuuu allergic to dog hair?" AHAHAHAHAHA! That's a spleen killer!

I felt even more bad when the board member lady who provided us with the yummy orange juice was sitting directly in front of me and kept laughing 24/7 whenever the author was trying to talk or trying to make a point. I swear he and her probably hooked up in the past.

To end this day Mr. Author read us a story about love because it was Valentine's Day.
"This girl in my college days broke my heart... and it never mended. I'm still not over her smiling cheeks, she broke me pretty bad."  Good for her! I can completely understand why she broke up with you because you are a total fruit cake!

Overall I am now more determined to continue writing my own book considering it obviously can't be that difficult if this mediocre dunce got a few published!

After that lovely time I went to my theatre class which was really fun today. The girl who barely speaks any English read her story aloud to the class and she is hilarious and I cannot wait to work with her on the skit we all shall be doing in April. Our teacher then showed us some clips from The Lion King on Broadway and apparently I was the only person in that class who has seen it on stage! Anyone who is reading this right now if you can only see one show in your lifetime I strongly STRONGLY recommend The Lion King. It has to be the best show I've ever seen live and I would definitely see it again in a heartbeat.
Some kid in my class though had to be stupid and complain about how "THEY ARE USING SONGS FOR THE 2ND LION KING, NOT THE FIRST!!!!" It's a Broadway show cretin , songs are bound to be added. Also if you payed attention, you would realize that the show actually does use songs from the first movie as well.

Oh and a little something I learned about The Lion King on Broadway today; circles are used in every scene to represent the circle of life. Mufasa's mask is a circle, the watering hole is a circle, etc. I just thought that was really neat.

After that class, I went to art against my will and I am happy that I didn't skip it today which I was seriously contemplating. We got to actually do something fun! When I say fun I mean that today everyone got to use drawing and coloring utensils! It may seem silly to you, but being in this class listening to boring lecture after boring lecture this completely trumped everything in the past classes.

Now the only thing that irritated me about that class today was;
A. Two kids sitting infront of me kept giggling about their boyfriends and what they plan to do on their very first V- Day! *head desk*
B. Crazy teacher lady told us that for 5 extra credit points we could write about the artistic elements in the movie Pans Labyrinth. I need all the extra credit I can get for that class but some student had to be a perfect example of why 85% of the human race is stupid and raise their hand to ask, "Isn't that movie all in Spanish?"
The crazy art teacher told him yes and that although you can listen to the dubbed version in english watching it with subtitles makes the movie a lot better and less irritating  which I can completely understand considering I've seen plenty of movies where the english voices were cringe worthy, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon being one example. This kid then starts complaining on how hard it is to read and watch things at the same time which led to half of the class complaining about watching this movie for extra credit!!! So crazy teacher asks the class if anyone has ever seen a movie with subtitles before and only one person besides myself raised their hand. Now instead of encouraging these students to experience something new she scrubs the entire extra credit assignment. Thanks kids.

As for my musical rehearsal tonight, this is where I broke down. I was not feeling very spifadocious today so obviously I'm not going to be 150% at rehearsal but I was still trying and give it everything I had! On complete accident I skipped over some guys line because he kept taking a long pause break between his sentences and I got yelled at for that. After going through the first and second scenes the director told me that I was going to now be voicing over the role of the nurse considering the girl they cast beforehand quit. Now I was totally happy about doing that until five minutes later when he told me "Hey, we're giving the nurse to guy who takes long pauses between sentances because he's going into voiceover." Are you effing kidding me? Um how the hell can someone be that oblivious? I WROTE ON MY FREAKING RESUME AT AUDITIONS THAT I AM CAPABLE AND GOING IN TO VOICE OVER. WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!?!? Then if that wasn't bad enough for my self confidence, all the songs the music instructor/director told me to sing along with at rehearsal because I was in those scenes made me hate people a little more because at the last minute director dude tells me I'm not needed for those scenes and that I wasn't needed for the rest of the week after watching the rest of rehearsal with people singing and being in scenes that were supposed to include ME. At this point I was so upset that I took a little stroll around the school, found a chair, and cried my eyes out for atleast five minutes. Like always nobody seemed to notice which I was a bit grateful for this time.

After going back to the auditorium for the next half hour, I got a ride home from my dad who kind of got it out of me what happened at rehearsal. I told him that cutting people from ensemble acts they've been cast in was a part of theatre. I'm not really sure if that's really true, but saying that was more for myself rather than anyone else, lying to myself sometimes helps me not go on a screaming rampage.

But hopefully everyone else out there had a fabulous chocolate appreciation day!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Don't Really Know Why I'm On Here...

Music: If I Had A Heart - Fever Ray

But alas, here I am.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and again, this is the one day of the year where something bad always happens to me, I break my toe or slam my hand in a car door or fall on ice or something excruciatingly terrible happens! I think that's a reason why I'm not a big fan of this day other than the fact that I'm single yet again this year, but that was to be expected. Either way I can never escape getting hurt tomorrow so I guess I should just suck it up and not worry about it. The minute the moment of being cautious leaves my mind will be the moment I will get hit by a truck, so it's all good!

Tomorrow morning I get to go to the college auditorium and listen to some emo writer talk about how he first came to learn how to make bread with his young children and how making bread is better than buying it in the grocery store! Unless I am personally getting some of this homemade bread I am only coming for a participation grade. This should make for an interesting start to the day, I'm sure I will just 'love' it.  

As for the romantic lovely dovey stuff, I'm not a fan of being single on Valentine's Day but this year I think I will live without being such a nightmare to the others around me unless they are in my personal space and making out. And I swear if one bloody person puts an I love you poem on facebook to their significant other, this year I am going to make a point to hide their status updates from my view for the day so as to not make me mad! But really, I think I can avoid it all this year. I truly have high hopes of accomplishing that.

As I believe I said last year, Valentine's Day is a pointless holiday and is just another excuse to get cheap candy, make people pissed, and hear sad stories about breakups. This year the holiday isn't hitting me hard. I have been listening to Whitney Houston the last few days (RIP) and if her lovely songs about love aren't hitting me I don't think anything will.Tomorrow will come and go, and then everything will be back to normal, after all it is technically just another day.  

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Personal Essay

On Thursday my literature teacher gave the class an assignment to write an essay about our most personal problems. And if that didn't suck badly enough, I just recieved an email from her saying that we will be sharing our essay outloud infront of the entire class next Thursday. How about we not do that?
Teacher lady asked us to pick out some heartfelt topics last class period and to share five of the 20 we wrote. Mine were;
When my grandparents died
A hospital experience
The first time I auditioned for a play
and something about vacations...

She thought it would be great to ask me about my medical problems in class and then tell me that I needed to pick entirely different topics so I can 'share information about myself.' Screw that. This is a perfect example as to why I almost have SA. The thing is, it is nobody's damn business what has gone on in my life. More than likely my classmates don't care either. I surely don't care about Nina's husband's suicide- as a matter of fact, I don't usually care about any persons topic about their feelings.

I have enough trust issues as it is thanks to people like my classmates in literature, I refuse to bare my soul to them. It is my opinion that once you know something serious about someone they will use that information against you.

If I want to address any personal issues I  have, I will speak to a counselor, not a teacher who is getting paid by the hour.

And with that I leave you to the following;

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a Mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
But I have not yet gone to college.
[i]From Harper's: "This essay, by Hugh Gallagher, won first prize in the humor category of the 1990 Scholastic Writing Awards.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Collegey College College

Ah college, long time no see! I had two full days off this week which were spent mostly relaxing and reading the hell out of what little lines I have for the musical along with singing about telegrams!!!!!!!!

As always I had literature class and I must say that I am impressed with myself for reading and comprehending all about Cupid and his love life in 30 or so minutes. I know I mention this practically every Tuesday and Thursday but my literature class is full of morons. However my extremely awesome teacher makes up for that. I swear you have to laugh atleast once whenever you are in her class.

So I go on to talk about Cupid and his love story and my teacher made an interesting point about how it's somewhat like Beauty and The Beast because of the invisable people in the story and Beauty and the Beast had imaginary characters like that, "such as the candlestick and Mrs. Teapot or whatever the hell her name is." =P My teacher then raised her awesome points by telling us how she knew and had a college class with Terry O'Quinn aka JOHN LOCKE of LOST fame, now starring in Hawaii 5-0.

Getting back to how 99% of  my literature class are idiots, while I was talking about Cupid in the most exciting way I possibly could the girl who sits behind me with the same name, rolls her eyes. How do I know she rolled her eyes? I'm psychic... or my teacher may have pointed it out to me afterwards asking what I've done to make this other girl mad. I honestly have no idea. I spoke to her before class and asked about the collage that was due for english and tried to make small talk with her that somehow ended up listening to her lecture on how GREAT the art class is because her BOYFRIEND told her the teacher was great and that changed her opinion about the class. Everything about that is just wrong.
"I used to hate this class and the teacher but because my boyfriend told me she was great and the class was cool I must agree with my loverboys opinion or he might *gasp* break up with me after 5 weeks!" A tragedy with no happy outcome. Unless she grows a brain and realizes agreeing with people so they will continue to date you is stupid and makes for a rocky road ahead.

Then we have the Twilight girl trying to give us her researched facts on the crazy Medusa! In her own words;
"Medusa is a Greek Goddess who has crabs for hair and died for love."
This comment is in need of this;
 < The same look I had after she read that!

For anyone who has never taken mythology here are some things you need to know about Medusa:
1. She has SNAKES for hair SNAKES. Not crabs or kittens, SNAKES.
2. She was not and never will be a goddess unless Stephanie Meyer wants to write a book on ancient Greek or Roman characters or we are talking about African mythology in which she is a crone aspect of the Medusa-Metis-Athena triple goddess. In most mythology though, she is one of the three gorgons.
3.  Perseus cut off her head using his shield as a mirror so he wouldn't be turned into stone which would have happened if he looked at her directly. Unless head chopping is the new affectionate way to show your love, she died headless and mad.

After literature I had theatre and my teacher complimented me on what a great job I was doing at the play rehearsals. From day one I have wanted a compliment from this guy and today I finally recieved it. Life can be good sometimes. =D

Then there was art class, oh joy! Psychotic teacher walked around the LARGE auditorium mumbling numbers to us so we could get into groups for a review day before the test. I had no bloody idea what number I was so I just went with group 2 and  that had to be the worst decision I ever made in my life. This group was filled with idiotic, untalkative idiots which consisted of
1. Girl with blonde hair- doesn't talk what so ever. 
2. Black guy- Likes to text "baby girl" who's in the back of the classroom- Talks less than the girl before him
3. The guy I thought before hand was good looking but instead he is annoying as frick who speaks only of high school football and rates girls hotness or their 'bangability." 0_o  The only time he technically talked before this was when he was  talking to the girl who went to school with him. Which brings us to; 
4. Bitchy girl who told me specifically that I better not make the group lose points by getting a question wrong! Thanks for having confidence in me. After insulting me she shut up thanks be to God. FYI this girl was the only one in our group who got a question wrong.
5. Annoying 40 year old who did nothing but read her freaking book, this includes after me asking her a question related to the class.

Anyways once our groups filled out our worksheets (yeah, one worksheet that we have to hand in will really help us study for the test!) crazy teacher tells us that we will be playing a trivia game (goody) and despite the fact that she said everyone who showed up today got 10 points each, the points went down to the winning group getting 4, the 2nd winner 3, the almost loser 2, and the failure of a loser 1. If I would have known this I wouldn't have shown up.

So she starts asking questions nobody knows the answers to making this game freaking pointless, and alls I can say is thank God no question was asked to me. I didn't have a clue as to what she wanted with any of them. In the end my group got 3 points though, how she figured that is beyond me.

At seven I had rehearsal and I felt that I did really really suckish. I swear I was off pitch on half of the songs and I thought my voice brought my annoying character into a new category of annoying. Hopefully I will do better at practice tomorrow.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

College Day

Today in college for some reason I felt pretty sleepy. I have no idea if it was because of the whack hour I fell asleep or because everything was incredibly boring but essentially just like any other day. And of course WITH STORIES!

Surprisingly I didn't see anyone in the hallways this morning with the exception of my dads girlfriend's daughter who I don't think even saw me, or if she did she was completely avoiding me. Cool.

But in literature class I was about ready to strangle my teacher who thought it would be professional to call me a whore. Everyone in class was assigned a Greek God/Goddess or someone having to do with mythology and I felt that it would have been polite to just tell me "You have Cupid" but she decides to extend that to "You have Cupid because you had a lot of boyfriends!" SINCE WHEN? I have never had a boyfriend you nut bar of a twit! And yes, that is a sad thing because I'm 20, but thanks for letting the class think I'm easy! This is just an overall horrible accusation to make to someone when you are a payed professional. I wasn't even wearing anything remotely whore-ish either. I doubt a Dr. Pepper t-shirt will make guys have an interest in me. Ugh, I still think she's the 2nd best teacher I have this semester though. But  I swear when we read Shakespeare aloud and perform it in an acting style if you don't give me a good part I'm going to be extremely upset. People need to get something through their heads, I may be the nicest person you've ever come across but if you make me mad it is war and you do not want a war to happen for I have ways of making you lose! BWAHAHAHAHA!

But after everyone was assigned their mythological character (fyi I really wanted Medusa and some girl who loves Twilight got her -kill me now-) everyone had to get into groups of three to discuss one of Emily Dickinson's poems. Usually I work with the three people behind me but because they are all bff's I knew I had to find another group to work with. So I ask the two girls sitting infront of me if I can work with them, the girl who drinks redbull every morning and wears way too much eyeliner and came into the class the 2nd week responded by literally screaming: WE ALREADY HAVE A GROUP! YOU CAN'T JOIN IN! FIND ANOTHER ONE!" Um ok, what exactly just happened here? Wait I know, another person just made my "I will ruin you" list! In the end I ended up working with another girl who never talks and a cool guy who I was surprised knew how to read poetry and comprehend it! This guy shall now be in my group until the semester is over. This guy seems to be going through chemotherapy at the moment and I truly hope the best for him.

In theatre class some lady from the library came in and taught us the value of reading or something like that, and after she left we continued to watch youtube videos about children's programming. Yo Gaba Gaba has to be the most annoying thing I have ever had to misfortune to see in my life. I felt mentally molested watching how some green thing had a party in his tummy while repeating the same words over and over and OVER AND OVER.

After theatre class I went to art and almost fell asleep. Just a quick note: falling asleep in this class is frowned upon by my psychotic art teacher. Also, I'm not sure if I mentioned this before but in this class I am sitting by a few gangsta kids and their friend who I can't understand when she talks named Baby Girl. Baby Girl fell asleep and I thought she was going to get her head chopped off. To make myself stay awake I walked out the doors, ran around the building, then came back in to learn about dimensions and space which are not particularly fascinating subjects to learn about what so ever, especially when the topics are screamed at you boringly. Thanks be to Gods that I didn't doze off.

Rehearsal is tonight so maybe I can take a nap before then. Bye!