Sunday, April 29, 2012


Many MANY people have heard of the infamous Tara Gilesbie. If not, lucky you! Tara Gilesbie is known for writing a terrible Harry Potter fanfic titled My Immortal under the name xXxbloodyristsxXx.

Well said author under that name has created two more stories for our enjoyment! Now I'm almost positive it's a Tara impersonator but the author has her writing style down so we can overlook that! 
Behold, TWO NEW STORIES from the best author ever!

I will admit that I am a big fan of terrible fanfiction. Nothing in the world makes me laugh as hard as writers making terrible stories with horrid spelling mistakes and adding in random things to make their story sound more believable. Because of Tara's new stories I am influenced to continue my commentary on on My Immortal just so I can start in on the new ones!

Now I shall leave you to read the stories, I am not responsible for any tears of blood you may cry while reading these. 

Things Children Should Grow Up With/Know

I live across the street from a daycare center. Now usually I tend to just avoid whatever goes on there because I could seriously care less and have better things to do than stalk little 5 year olds. 0_o 

However today I was up in my room writing when some class from the daycare went outside and started talking obnoxiously LOUD about what they learned today. My daycare was pretty darn horrendous but thank God we never had to do stuff like that because my response would have more than likely have been "I learned I hate all of you!"

All of the kids said something about how "I learned how to count to 10!" or something like that. Good, counting is important. Then the teacher lady told them that they could go home and that tomorrow they would be watching Pocahontas. None of the kids had any idea what or who that was. Yes, the Disney movie is historically inaccurate but that's no excuse to NOT have your kids watch the movie or teach them about her!

So that lead me to an important question. What should children grow up with and know so they don't become the next cast of The Jersey Shore?
What I came up with;

1. Barbie/Power Rangers/ Legos or some toy they can be obsessed with
2. Disney movies!- And I don't mean WALL-E. I mean the classic Disney; Cinderella, Snow White, The Lion King, The Aristocats, Aladdin, Mulan, etc.
3. Know the continents,oceans, great lakes, the states capitals, general geography.
4. Know what the Holocaust is.
5. Coloring books or anything that makes the child be creative
6.  Jumprope or anything that makes the child active
7. Know that the Titanic was an actual event and not just a movie
8. Know their state flower and reptile and all that jazz
9. Know the Pledge of Allegiance and National Anthem 
10. Manners and politeness
11. How to count money
12. Pacman/ Mario
13. That putting plastic in the microwave is a bad idea
14. Know that the Edmund Fitzgerald was also an actual event and not just a song
15. Fairy tales or any other type of story
16. David Bowie/The Beatles =P

If anyone comes up with anything else (for I am sure I missed a lot) you can comment below! 

Monday, April 23, 2012

Worst Movies Ever

These are the worst movies I have ever had the misfortune of seeing. Or just movies I dislike. Either way all of the horrible ones are on this list and if they are not then I have probably never seen the film or disagree with what you think is awful. Now onward to the list!

My Name is Zorra-Me and my english class watched this my freshmen year when my teacher went on the senior trip and some ignoramous of a sub guy forced us to watch it. I couldn't even tell you what the movie was about considering it was so IMBECILIC and based on a $2 budget and people who couldn't act to save their lives. The entire movie revolved around these horrid actors performing scenes from the writings of  Zora Neale Hurston ON A STAGE. I think the only thing I got out of it was something about some African American woman going to the devil because she was hooch-ish and hated her life.

But the thing that got me the most confused and irritated was that these actors were performing this stuff on a bloody stage! Possibly in front of the public! It is one thing to record stage productions if they are good, but this thing greatly insulted the theatre, actors who actually know how to act without "tlkin lyk fuulss" to enunciate or get the point across, not to mention the works of a dead writer.

Marie Antoinette- I loved the costumes and girly surroundings and found the film visually stunning. I always have liked the history surrounding Marie Antoinette and think Kirsten Dunst is a pretty good actress. So why did I despise this film and want everyone to choke on a piece of cake? To put it simply it was stupid and pointless and it's not a good adaptation of her life what so ever. To put it bluntly this movie makes Marie look like a whore,  And she had a tragic life and Hollywood yet again fails to show any of that. She doesnt even get her head chopped off. The main plot of the movie: get up, get dressed, eat sugar, have sex, go to sleep. I swear half of the time I wasn't sure if it was a comedy or if I should fall asleep. The movie is like The Producer's Springtime for Hitler only not as creative or fun.

The Wave-I had to watch this sophmore year in US history and it was just so stupid that you couldnt help but laugh. I suggest everyone goes and look it up on youtube right now because you cannot explain this movie, you have to experience it! It is actually based on a real life story that is taken to a new level with the horrid actors. Honestly it has a good message but a bad delivery. 

Finding Forester- A movie about some kid who plays 'b-ball' and wants to write to impress higher class students.Can you say waste of 5 minutes of my life? And yet I was forced to watch it 3 DIFFERENT TIMES in my high school because it had a "positive message" which had something to do with following your heart to get out of the slums. I believe Oprah had a similiar episode to this entire movie with real life people and how they made something out of their life after living in poor areas in New York and by stopping the drive bys!  I think this was the movie where I started counting ceiling tiles in my movie appreciation class.

We are Marshall- It's a football movie, of course I hated it. Because as everyone knows football can be used as a metaphor for life. It's based on a  true story about some football team that dies in a plane crash and then they have a coach that tries to be funny but isn't because his name is Matthew McConaughey. The movie lacked realism and 99% of the film had the actors crying.

School Ties- Some stupid movie about some COLLEGE KIDS who have issues and an HONOR CODE and some lame professor who says SOMEONE CHEATED SO YOU ALL FAIL! I am pretty sure its illegal to do that. Oh and they randomly sing songs about cafes!

Secondhand LIONS-Two words DEFEND YOURSELF! lol. *facepalm*

The Whale Rider- I mainly didn't like it because I didn't understand it. It was about some Maori girl and her perverted grandpa who tells kids to STICK THEIR TONGUE OUT BECAUSE IF YOU DO THAT THEN IT MEANS IM GOING TO EAT YOU! and to SLAP THEIR CHESTS UNTIL THEY BLEED! And the lead girl sings songs at random moments and it gets annoying really fast.Whats worse is this movie isn't even about WHALES until the end! 

Powder-Seriously who in there right mind wrote this move again, oh thats right they HAD NO MIND TO BEGIN WITH! The movie is about some kid whos paler then an albino who has TELEKINETIC POWERS and then gets struck by lightening then magically disappears into the sky when a cop chases them. Yeah thats the end of the movie,sounds great huh?

 Aeon Flux- I didnt even understand the point of it. I think it was supposed to be about some girl with superpowers? I dunno. I didnt even finish it because it was pure stupidity.

Flash Gordon- Now I didn't watch this one by choice. Practically all of the movies I listed were not by choice. Oh no, I was forced to watch this or Spiderman for a humanities class. This is just rofl worthy. Timothy Dalton you could have done so much better than this! 

Avatar- That's right you read correctly. It's a nature worship claptrap and  the plot line and characters sucked and they had no depth whatsoever

The Conqueror- John Wayne as Genghis Khan. Someone needs to get shot for that casting choice!!!

Movies So Bad, I Can Tell Without Even Seeing Them 
Anything Will Ferrell is in.
Anything with Adam Sandler. But he can feel free to sing the Hanukkah song year round.

Have any more suggestions for stupid movies let me know, I'll add them, trust me!


Music: See Who I Am- Within Temptation

I am not a coffee fan. Nay, I despise coffee. I also despise cappuccinos, frappuccino mocha whatevers, espresso's and basically anything mixed with coffee- ok, coffee cake being the exception but that's more cinnamon anyways. However if I was on a deserted island and coffee was the only thing there I would probably force myself to drink it... and then die.

I am seriously more of a tea drinker. I will drink any flavor of tea you give me (minus the whole sugar induced kind) and I will probably like it. 

Now why am I writing a blog on coffee? I went to Barnes and Noble today and on the side of the store there is a little Starbucks area. Granted I have never technically been inside a true Starbucks but I am not that disappointed with it. I see people at college with little Starbucks drinks in there hands all the time and it makes me a bit disturbed seeing people throw $8.00 away like that on a 12 oz coffee. I'm a death by energy drink fan and usually those don't cost me more than $1.50.

Today when I was at Barnes and Noble I was getting thirsty so I bought a square Fiji water bottle and the guy I bought it from handed me a slip of paper which made me find out that Starbucks has a secret menu! 0_o Now I'm sure most coffee/Starbuck's addicts already knew about this but it seems a bit odd to me to make a menu 'secret' and then give it out to five foot tall girls who buy water bottles. Yeah, more than likely that guy is losing his job for handing out Starbuck's secret things to random pedestrians. 

But to anyone who is interested here is the secret menu. Have fun.

Starbucks Secret Menu

New Blogger

Seriously, why?
Why fix something that is not broken? I am not amused. Furthermore now I have to figure everything out again which makes me equally as mad. 

Time to look for a new place to blog I suppose, which sucks because this has been the only blogging website which I could fully understand. I have been a member since 2007. This is not facebook. Stop trying to change everything.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Best Laughs Ever

In no particular order:
1. Bellatrix Lestrange- Oh come on, everyone knew this was going to be here. BELLATRIX IS FREEEE!!!!

2. Wicked Witch of the West- LOVE LOVE LOVE! The only bad thing about this laugh is that a lot of people think that this is the only evil laugh they can use when they are told to "do an evil laugh". Not true. 

3. Jafar (Jonathan Freeman)- Best evil laugh in any Disney movie. It's an evil laugh in song form! Whenever someone can laugh during a song it just makes it a billion times better.

4. Vincent Price from Michael Jackson's "Thriller." Everything about this laugh is just creepily awesome!

5. Sideshow Bob from The Simpson (voiced by Kelsey Grammar)- This is why everyone should love Kelsey Grammar. Not because of Frasier or his broadway shows, because of this! I mean just look how happy he is! 

6. Mao from Code Geass- This guy is crazy. Which makes his laugh about the same as his personality!

7. Agent Smith from The Matrix- AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

8. Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty

9. The best laugh ever. Period. 


Sunday, April 1, 2012

Let's Do The Time Warp Again!

Today me,my dad, and unfortunately his girlfriend and her even more horrible daughter went to go see a local stage production of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Now Rocky Horror is a movie that is quite terrible (in a good way) and isn't something you watch alone but everyone loves it anyways- I'm one of those people. Sadly I have never been to a screening of it before or a stage production so it was my idea to go see it. My dad was actually the one to inform me about this 'cult classic' when I was about 18 so I offered to take him with me to see this and as soon as the word of his girlfriend tagging along came up I regretted my decision. Why you may ask? This lady has no theatre etiquette what so ever!

I have gone to shows with her before- professional BROADWAY/WEST END SHOWS. And she whistles. At every single one. I cannot even begin to tell you how disturbing that is, it reminds me of nails on a chalkboard. Not to mention that if I am sitting by her it makes me go half deaf! I swear to God if I went alone to see a production and someone next to me started whistling me and them would be having a long chit chat after the show. In the alley. Involving a baseball bat. You do not whistle at a show that people have paid money for, some over $100!  Hell, you shouldn't whistle at a show at all, for again, it is bad etiquette! 
Seriously this is how all the performances with her and her whistling have went:

-Phantom of the Opera- She whistled after the boat scene, Music of the Night, and Masquerade, and the fight in the graveyard. WHO WHISTLES DURING PHANTOM?!?!? That's right, nobody because magical lasso's and hanging men are nothing to whistle about!
- RAIN- Now I can understand why someone would whistle during this, The Beatles rock even if they are only look alike imitations of the four originals. However songs such as Eleanor Rigby should have a sad or understanding feeling, not a 'let's whistle during the lyric of "Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name. Nobody came." because that is just foolish.
- The Wizard of Oz- In this production for the scene when Dorothy was locked alone inside the room in the witch's castle they showed a projector on screen showing Aunt Em and then the witch. When the witch showed up she whistled. I even knew the thing was pre-recorded and that the lady couldn't hear her. 
And all this leads up to
-The Rocky Horror Picture Show-  She whistled about 500 times for no other reason than to be a loud, obnoxious idiot. The sad thing was I knew some people sitting in the theatre and I somehow ended up sitting by her which made the experience unenjoyable and embarrassing

Another embarrasing moment? Accidently sitting in someone elses reserved seat. The director got down from the stage before the show began and started yelling at me specifically about how some college professor was expected to arrive any moment and that my seat was reserved for him and his wife and how I'm a disrespectful little girl. I had no idea how I was supposed to react to that so I just moved down near the incredibly loud orchestra on the left side of the stage (my dad, his girlfriend, and her daughter following behind me) and sat there considering they were the only available seats left. 

But the show was really good and fun. But you couldn't throw things on the stage (darn!) One of the girls in the cast even designed all of the costumes which looked incredible. All of the actors were great with the exception of Rocky who I think they only cast as a last minute thing because they were desperate. Overall it was an 8/10 which is a good score to give for a college production. 

Les Miserables

Music: The Confrontation- Les Miserables 25th Anniversary

I did it! I finally did it! I finally got the chance to see Les Miserables live and it did not disappoint! The cast and music and costumes and stage and props and backdrop and setting and sets and basically everything was simply amazing! And if you are one of those people who are complaining because "there ain't no turntables in this rendition" the musical survived well enough without them, who knows maybe the turntables will make an appearance in the 30th anniversary tour.

However despite the turntables not being there this production had somewhat of a 3D thing going on during the 2nd act or rather projections of Victor Hugo's drawings which is actually a lot cooler than it sounds and really added to when Javert jumps into the Seine. (RIP Javert, he has to be my favorite character behind Eponine.)

To begin with apparently this show was sold out all 3 days it was running so for my mom to have gotten tickets for us was one of the coolest things she has ever done for me considering she knew I have wanted to see this production since 2009 or so and she had absolutely no idea what it was about. (Has anyone ever really tried explaining Les Miz to anyone? Exactly what are you supposed to say? "It's about a guy who went to jail for stealing bread then get's out on parole. 24601." Lol, It's so much more than that!)

But anyways, we get there and I had to take pictures next to the signs because it's Les freaking Miserables and I love it and need proof that I was there! We walk into the theatre and my mom did excellently with the seats! 15th row in the middle! YES!

About 15 minutes beforehand with me telling my mom and grandmother  to read the synopsis before watching I was flipping through the program and reading about the actors/directors and what not and then the show started and I must say Les Miz has the most powerful musical opening in history.
Now as for the actors;

Jean Valjean played by Peter Lockyer- First and foremost his name is pronounced Zshan-Val-Zshan. NOT Jeen VOL Jeen! I swear if I hear one more person pronounce his name like this I am ending them.  But Lockyer was fantastic and I don't think they could have picked a better Valjean. Bring Him Home is what made me think that this guy is the best person to ever play Valjean ever. I can truly see him going places.

Javert played by Andrew Varela- I'm going to admit I wasn't a fan of his at first. But after 2 minutes I got over it. He was actually pretty amazingly fantastic and his version of "Stars" blew me away and he will be going places too. Overall I think I'm just a huge fan of Norm Lewis's Javert but Varela rocked the house just the same! Oh and the hat Javert wears at the beginning always makes me smile. I kind of want one. =P
Show Photos - Les Miserables - Andrew Varela

Cosette played by Lauren Wiley- She was fantastic. Although I think Cosette has less of a storyline in the musical than she does in the book, Lauren really made Cosette come to life. Plus she was a phenomenal singer! 
Quick Change - Les Miserables - tour - Lauren Wiley

Marius played by Max Quinlan- I am seriously not a fan of Marius's character but oh my God this guy was freaking fantastic! He actually made me like the character and that's saying something. He put so much emotion and song into his act that it's really hard to dislike him. 
One of my favorite bits in the entire show though (I'm not sure if they've ever done this for another performance) was when he throws a rock at Cosette's window during "A Heart Full of Love" and then goes "I'm doing everything all wrong." It was so great! 

Fantine played by Betsy Morgan- Best Fantine ever. She pretty much made me fall in love with the character. Her, “I Dreamed a Dream” is one of the only ones I really WANT to sit through and listen to. And her voice is so perfect for the songs she sings and her acting is just as good. Overall I have to say she was my absolute favorite in the entire musical. 

Eponine played by Chasten Harmon- Eponine has to be my favorite character in this entire musical next to Javert. Chasten did a spectacular job with "On My Own" and it really did seem as if she made the role all her own, she wore a red hat!!! What I really liked about Chasten is that I actually got to meet her afterwards when they were collecting money for some charity and she was super nice.

The Thenardiers played by  Timothy Gulan & Shawna Hamic- They were HILARIOUS. I absolutely loved both of them. Personally I never  liked Mr. Thenardier as a character but Gulan was great and everyone absolutely loved them both. Shawna seems to really really like her job too and I have so much respect for people like her.

Enjolras played by Jason Forbach- Honestly I didn't find him memorable but living up to Ramin's Enjolras is quite a challenge so I'm not going to say he was bad. Infact he is a great singer! And at least he wasn't blonde like they showed the dude in the program. 

Gavroche played by either Joshua Colley or Marcus D'Angelo- I have no idea who played him in the show I saw but whoever it was is the cutest kid ever! I don't necessarily take a liking to kids but whichever one of these guys played him made me want to give them a huge hug! I swear not knowing who played him will haunt me forever!

Young Cosette played by Erin Cearlock and Young Eponine played by Juliana Simone  - I doubt if they could have picked two better girls for the part. Both played the role to a T! Mavis Simpson-Ernst was also great as the "Turning" ensemble girl.

The Bishop of Digne played by James Zannelli- Honestly I think the guy plays one of the most important roles in the entire musical. Zannelli actually brought the character to life and I was just in awe of his performance. 

Every single person in the ensemble was great too, not a single person was horrendous. Everyone was top notch with their performances whether it be a "lovely lady" or the guy who says "Move it Madeline."

Other things I really liked:
-The scenery and props and design- LOVED everything about it. I cannot imagine having a stage like that. Truly spectacular!
-The costumes- All of them were wonderful along with the makeup.
- The lighting- Perfect.

One thing I will never understand:
I don't think I will ever get why Eponine is beside Valjean during his death. Did he even know her? Personally I thought the Bishop would have been a better choice but what do I know!?!?!?

Overall this musical will always be a 10/10 in my book and I strongly urge people who have never seen it to do so!