Today was an interesting day for me. I had to sing my horrible little solo song for a grade in front of my music class. I was already having a stressful day before that considering I just had a quiz in my Shakespeare class, but as soon as I stepped into the music classroom my confidence level, which I was trying hard to maintain before singing, was shot.
"You are getting a point marked off!" says my lovely music teacher. "Same goes for you >other girl<!!!"
"OK why are we getting marked down before we even perform?"
"Because you are wearing jeans and that is not suitable performance attire!!!!!"
What the hell? You think I don't know this? This isn't a dress rehearsal and we aren't performing for other people. This is basically a learning round so we don't suck when it comes to be that time. And I dressed pretty nicely today and had to pin my lacy black t-shirt jacket thing in the front over my pink tank top to make it look acceptable for THIS REASON. And I was wearing silver flats. I looked presentable for the occasion and I felt quite pretty without my makeup! Stupid man.
After this everyone had to wait outside to go into the practice room with our accompanist who is a really sweet lady but I cannot understand a damn word that she says when it comes to how to . "Sing in an A minor instead of an A flat. This is CDACB!" Umm what? I don't understand your terminology!!! I don't read much music either and I really have no intentions of learning how to do so. The Sound of Music and their learning musical process is all I need unless I start to take up an instrument, and even sometimes people play by ear.
But this accompanist spent around 1 minute or so with each of us (yeah that helped a lot!) and then we were told to go back into the classroom so we could be judged yet again on how goodly/poorly we sang! Each student had to pick a number 1 through 10 and lucky me, I got numero uno! I had to get it over with eventually though right? So mr. music teacher is lecturing everyone else about proper stage presence and who knows what else as I am standing there waiting to go sing. During this time I realize that the other girl in jeans is going to be recording everyone's performance on her cellular telephone. I am almost positive you have to get a consent form to do that and I most certainly did not give my permission for recording of any type. FINALLY my teacher sits down, I state my name and all that fun stuff, then the accompanist begins to play. Now I realize that I can't read music but I am 100% positive that she effed me over! While practicing with the music teacher and another lady not once have I had to hit a note all the way up HERE and I was also not too keen on her slowing down the tempo. Doing so screwed me over completely. Not to mention there is a lyric in this horrendous song that goes "You might as well be made of wood" and she played that melody 5 times and it made me sound like a broken record player. After the 3rd time I just stopped singing and did a little dance. The music teacher was NOT AMUSED and started writing down notes in a very angry fashion!!! I finished the song though and had to listen to everyone else (with the exception of 3 others) do great. I got the comments back from the students for the performance and all of them said that I did great! LIES. I did terribly! I fell flat on some notes and I couldn't get the pitch right thanks to the crazy piano lady! I would have rather people told me the truth and say I did poorly than have read a bunch of lying comments.
Then the piano lady comes up to me afterwards and is like YOU DIDN'T SING THIS PART IN THE RIGHT KEEEEEY. What are you rambling on about this time crazy piano lady? I was like the next Sarah Brightman today... from the depths of musical hell. =P