Thursday, February 28, 2013

"You're So Fat!"

Why do people resort to saying this to others? Have they never heard of an eating disorder? Do they not realize that stupid comments like that can CAUSE eating disorders? It's just an unnecessary comment to say and there are other ways of going about telling someone they are gaining weight. Calling someone "fat" or "pudgy" or "tubzoid" doesn't help an overweight person magically become thin.

I'm writing this now because my mom just thought it would be a wonderful thing to tell me that I eat too much and that I am twice her size. Again. I have been trying to lose weight and you think comments like that help? They don't and I wouldn't consider myself to be obese and my doctor said that I just needed to lose about 10 lbs and I'd be fine. My mom can't help but judge others on their weight because she used to be a "fat child" and she just happens to get a kick out of other peoples weight issues because now she's skinny. But calling your daughter who has tried every way possible to lose weight these past few months is just hitting below the belt and uncalled for.

The things most adults say to us as children stick with us as well. Now this isn't the first time a family member or a person has called me fat. It's really sad but I can count a hundred different times and places in which people have called me fat throughout my lifetime. 

1. When I was 6 some kid pushed me off the swing at school and told me that "ugly fat girls" weren't allowed to play on the swings. I wasn't even a fat kid but that still hurt me at the time.

2. My grandmother to this day still critiques my eating habits and how "her diabetic friends don't eat like me" yeah maybe because your friends are 80+ years old and have type 2 diabetes, not type 1 so that means their eating habits will be different than mine. ALL diabetics don't eat the same.

3. One time my grandmother thought it would be fun to laugh at how fat I was at a restaurant when her 2 friends joined us at the table. "My granddaughter needs to lose some weight and stop eating all of the time!" Her friends agreed with her despite the fact that I was eating a crouton-less salad.

4. In middle school I gained a little weight due to depression. Girls would call me fat on a regular basis. I have always been a nail biter and in class one day because I was nervous about my presentation I started biting my nails which caused someone to loudly ask "If I had enough to eat for lunch." Yeah, that's hilarious. Want to know what else is hilarious? That this girl is now living in her best friends garage because she got kicked out of the house for stashing some drugs. She hasn't gained weight, but that's probably because she's on the highly illegal substance diet!

5. My grandmother once invited all of the family to dinner at her house. She is not a fine cook and family gatherings are always hell. We were all trying to choke down her overdone spaghetti and I kept drinking my water and nibbling on some bread when my grandmother goes "Why don't you quit eating fattening bread? God you're so big for your age, no wonder why!" I got mad, stood up, and ended up walking home in a snowstorm trying not to cry.
6. My ex- stepfather once told me that compared to his friends daughters I was an "embarrassment" and that I should "lose some weight" so he could be proud.

7. Me and my friend went to the basketball court one day and ended up seeing a lot of people from school there. One guy who dropped out said that "Compared to >my friend< I was fat and needed to lose weight to look sexy like her." Oh. Forgive me for not standing up to your 16 year old opinion of what sexy is.

8. My "friend" in high school always remarked on how flabby my arms were and that I should lift weights so they can be "toned" like hers.

9. Another one of my "friends" in high school who sat behind me in class kept telling me that I wasn't as thin as her (Obviously! But why does she have any reason to care about this?) and that I needed to drink more water to lose weight. The hell.

10. In 6th grade the guy I kind of liked started making fun of my weight to his friends. I started throwing up after that. It lasted about 5 days until my teacher found me in the bathroom and told me to "knock that shit off" and had a talk with me. She may have saved my life.

11. In high school one guy (who was a complete ass) during drama class called me fat. I have had enough experience with being called fat in my lifetime thanks to so many wonderful people, so now I had something to say back. I forgot what I said but it ended up with him saying that "I'm still fat" and that "Nobody would ever want a fat girl like me." Again, this was in drama class, the one place I always felt confident.

12. My mom has been calling me fat ever since my freshmen year. She always looks at me and gives me a once over (looks at me from head to toe to head) and insists that "I need to start exercising more for health and weight purposes" and so "I won't gain anymore weight." She asks me every week how much weight I lost/gained. I don't know. You are a sorry excuse of a human being to ask your daughter this. Toxic parenting is what I call it.

There are more stories but those are the 12 I can think of right now. It's pretty terrible to call someone fat. I hate it and wish you would all just stop obsessing over other peoples weight and worry about yourself. I know I'm not a 100 pound beach blonde. I have a way to go before I will be 120 again. However I would just like to point out that I am happy with who I am personality wise. Yes, I could lose some weight but there are more important things in the world than fitting into a size zero dress. This is a reminder out there to those who may have forgotten it; think about what you say before you say it. Check yourself before you wreck yourself. Don't be a jerk. Don't say hurtful and stupid things. Mind your own business when it comes to how other people looks. None of us are 100% comfortable with ourselves, anyone who says otherwise is lying. Live a happy and healthy life for yourself, not just to please others or to get others to like you. You are better than that. Anyone who has a problem with you because you don't have the body size of Malibu Barbie or that one wrestler-turned-actor guy is not worth your time and effort.

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