Saturday, February 16, 2013

The Third Dimension Of Hell

Lately I have been wondering if I am in it. Here are just a few things that have been going on with my so called life lately;


-My college theatre program just teamed up with the theatre that didn't want me in Sweeney Todd for next seasons show. I can't really think of anything worse that could have happened besides getting CUT from play after play after musical. Sure, the director from the college may be on my side but the guy he's teaming up with is the one who picked the show and will more than likely be the one to pick the cast which will consist of only one, maybe two, students who even go to my college. People seem to be thrilled to know that these two theatres are teaming up together, but me, I'm hating it entirely. Stupid idea.

^Teaming up with this theatre company shall hopefully lead to something like this...By the way this picture will never NOT be funny. 

Now that that's settled...

- A younger guy at my college who was in a musical with me a long time ago and always failed to show up on time or even show up at all (let's call him *Diva Dave*) decided that he was so talented that he would be holding auditions for a play at college despite the fact that he's in the musical this fall. Diva Dave hates it when everything is not about him. So he started bragging on his facebook earlier in the month about how he can't wait to cast only TRULY TALENTED people when a ignorant little lady on his page says " Since I already have THIS ONLY FEMALE LEAD part and I better have a sexy HUSBAND, just sayin." And Diva Dave freaking LIKED IT. When this happened I had high hopes of finding the interview I read where Hugh Jackman said that he believes in face to face auditions and that people shouldn't just be handed the role without auditioning because that's unfair BS. Sadly I never found the interview, but just know that it is out there. Stupid non-auditioners being handed parts.

- Diva Dave actually posted the cast list today, I did not audition because I don't think that I have fallen that desperately far yet and I would have probably been replaced once  Director Diva Dave wanted to critique me because I would have slammed a fist down his throat. But anyways, the cast list consisted of all of his friends getting the great roles while people who are not very close to him got the littler roles. Yeah, that's fair. Thankfully this is a lesser known show or else I would have thrown a bitch fit. Diva Dave's a freaking idiot. Stupid Diva Dave.

-One guy who got cast in the real college production (the one I got cut from) keeps updating his facebook 24/7 by saying things such as;
 "Sitting here with nothing to do. Txt me!" 
And then
"God Im soooo bored I cant believe they have to go through another guys part AGAIN. Bout ready to leave."
DUDE WTF you are at rehearsal right now! I know this because I received the paper of rehearsal times before I got cut! Get your butt on stage and help or be productive backstage. You need no texts, you need to pay attention. You're wasting everyone's time. Unless you are crazy good like Norm Lewis you need to rehearse during rehearsal time just like everyone else! Stupid not Norm Lewis diva guy.

Sent in by anonymous. I totally agree with him or her. That really gets on my nerves, too!
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- I had to drop out of accounting. I feel like such a failure but it was for the best. I wasn't understanding the first two chapters, I failed my two online quizzes, the teacher wasn't helping me, and when I went to the tutoring center at the school they said that the only way to get help with the subject was to ask my teacher, who as I mentioned, sucked at helping and couldn't put forth the time and effort to help his struggling student.  I got my money back but that doesn't make it any worse that I won't be graduating this fall. I'm planning on taking French in the summer if it is offered and am truly looking forward to learning a bit of the language. Stupid accounting.

- Because I dropped out of accounting that means that I have to get a JOB. And my mom will not hear of me working anywhere else but the daycare center across the street despite the fact that she knows I cannot stand children. But I guess I'm going to be forced to pretend to enjoy them and dislike them even more once I get the job. Stupid children.


- My dads girlfriends daughter has had a boyfriend for 6 months. Not only does that make me feel really horrible about myself (the daughter is a fruitcake and a half) but as of today I have learned that they will be married by this time next year. Obviously it is none of my business and I should stay out of her "personal life" because it's her own fault if she wishes to mess it up. But when someone says that he is from Whitby Bay, Texas that can only mean a few things;
1. He's a LIAR
2. He meant to say Horseshoe Bay, but it came out wrong, and even then it would be evident that he has be lying because he does not have a southern accent. North Yorkshire, that's where Whitby is located, not in Texas. Whitby is also a place in Canada, once again, not in Texas.
3. He has read too much Dracula which is an all around better book than Twilight, but modeling yourself after one of the most well known vampires is probably not the best idea.

I tried explaining this to the daughter and she just starts laughing and says that I have no idea what I'm talking about. Alright. May God have mercy on your soul. It is none of my business, her marriage will not effect me, and because she cut my hair when I was a sophomore while I was sleeping I have no regrets. But in all seriousness, best of luck to both of them. Stupid towns that don't exist.

- Because of this my dad and his stupid girlfriend keep asking me when I'm getting married. Um I don't know. "Why don't you have a boyfriend?" I don't have an answer for that either. "You need to start thinking about the future and who you would like to "settle down with." Don't tell me what to do. THE NEXT person who asks me when I'm getting married or why I don't have a boyfriend will get punched in the face. Seriously. Like I have any control over any of this. "When are you getting married" is a stupid question and I swear if they keep interrogating me about my non-existent love life I am going to answer this question by saying "Next month." Really. Let me just buy a wedding dress and walk down the aisle just to please you. Next person who asks these kinds of questions to me will not only have a black eye but if someone ever DOES ask me to marry them, you will not be getting an invitation. I am content with who I am, why should you care? Yeah, I have never had a boyfriend, it has nothing to do with how I look, I'm not a street walker or drug dealer, and I am fine with my personality. I will be 22 in April, so what. WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH? Stupid interrogations of stupidness.

^I found this picture on Google and it said that this lady was left at the altar. That would be my worst nightmare. However I enjoyed the brides look here because not only does she looked annoyed, but she looks like she is about to shed these peoples blood.

-Just learned that the "best friend" that I haven't spoken to since last July is becoming quite the alcoholic. I wish there was something I could do to help, but you can't help anybody who doesn't want to help themselves. Her sorority sisters can help her, after all I don't exist anymore to her because I'm not in the sorority, but that doesn't mean I'm not concerned. I guess I will never understand the appeal of drinking or bragging about having 18 shots of tequila. Stupid people and their drinking problems.

-My mom has been screaming at me for merely existing but that's nothing new and as always, is stupid. 

-My uncle who lives in Virginia is not doing too well. He is being treated for throat cancer and there is a 80% chance that he won't make it. He is the coolest and nicest uncle ever and is a dead ringer (bad wording) for my deceased grandfather. I am hoping for the best but because I'm living in the third dimension of hell right now, I won't count on it. He has lived a great and long life, living until you are 80, making it through the Vietnam War is something to be proud of. I'm afraid of the worst though and can only hope he makes it through the hospital visit. Stupid throat cancer. 

Other Little Things of Randomness That Need To Be Spoken Of!

- My cat keeps waking me up in the middle of the night to go play with her which is causing me to be even more sleep deprived than usual. Stupid cat's messed up sleeping patterns.
-Why in the world are there only 20 songs on the Les Mis movie soundtrack? I am a person who does not buy musical soundtracks unless all the songs are on there. They better come out with the full recording soon so I don't have to resort to singing the songs to everyone around me and probably drive them crazy! However I do say I make a fine Innkeeper. Stupid Highlight Album.

I think that I do have a right to burst into tears, but I won't today. Worse things are happening out there.

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