Wednesday, January 18, 2012


Today was my first day back to college officially making it the spring 2012 semester! One more semester to go and I will be out of here!

Hoo Hoo


Anyways, this morning when I arrived at the college I saw four of my lovely friends which automatically made my day a bit more brighter and then I had to go to my literature class which I think has a strong potential to teach me something. The teacher seems really cool so far and I think will be great for the rest of the semester- the students not so much. Some girl who has the same exact name as me sat DIRECTLY behind me after arriving ten minutes late to class with her  boyfriend so I'm a bit scared now that said awesome teacher is going to have a problem remembering who is who but she hasn't messed up so far.

After everyone arrived in class we basically just said our name and had to get into groups to answer two questions. EASY questions. My group was full of potential victims for a pen-in-eye attack. We had to answer a question on the board which stated "What makes libraries different than supermarkets when it comes to the selling of books?" or something to that effect and the girl with my name stated that "The difference between the two is that supermarkets sell cool books such as Vampire Academy which teens can relate to. Libraries only have boring educational books and you have to wait for-ever for them to get a new shipment in! It took me five times until I gave up and just bought Twilight!"

Umm no little missy. You just need to shut up and sit down or I may have to relocate your bones in a very harsh fashion. How can teens exactly relate to Vampire Academy? Sorry to tell you this but most teens I know are not, and will never be, vampires.

Sadly two other GUYS in the group agreed with her!
Guy #1- Haha! You're right, the library is pretty dope! (ah yes, the dopeish library! A place where stoners get their fix while reading! *headdesk slam!*)
Guy #2- Like you I thought Twilight was really a great series >insert totally noticable flirtacious wink here< Libraries are cool but I only use them for the internet. What do you think? (indicating me)
In my mind: Oh you do not even want to know what I'm thinking... 
What I really said: "To me it seems that the library has more variations of books whereas a place like Walmart only seems to sell what's popularized in the market right now just so they can make a profit."

I was given blank stares and after five minutes it seemed that they agreed with me though I couldn't really tell because they were all too busy talking about b-ball or something stupid like that which I totally tuned out because I like my sanity.

After that lovely group discussion we had to read a poem in class, which was pretty simple to interpret and before we left she asked us what our favorite piece of literature is. This is where I almost died. Half of the responses were "I'm not much of a reader" or "I don't like writing" yes, because if you hate reading and writing a nonrequired literature class is the right choice for you!

And if that response is not bad enough every single girl in the room, I kid you not, said something about how "I's loves Twilight" or "Nicholas Sparks for the win!" Someone needed to just get an arrow and shoot my brain out along with my knee.
The guys responses consisted of "How reading sucks," "My favorite novel is SPORTS ILLUSTRATED,"(I wish I was joking too) and my favorite, from some obvious smartass freshmen; "Dr.Seuss." What is wrong with you illiterate jackasses that call yourselves people? Read a book! IT'S NOT THAT HARD!!! I would kindly donate you an 80 page book if I wasn't concerned that you would have a bonfire with it.

Then to make matters worse the teacher tells us that one of her favorite novels is Jane Eyre. Somehow my classmates faces seemed to be clueless as to "what a Jane Eyre is." She asked us if anyone had ever heard of Jane Eyre- my hand along with another lying SOB's went up. How do I know she's a lying SOB? Because I tried to have a conversation with her. She thinks the book is about blueberry picking in Trafalgar Square. Oh how I am going to love this class.

I then had theatre class and let me just say right now that a lot of theatre majors are not kind. One girl kept bragging about how she was the lead in the colleges play last semester and that she has acting experience so she knows about breaking the fourth wall because she is clearly an expert with everything related to theatre. I was thinking about giving her a dollar just so she would shut up but then I wouldn't be able to buy water which is needed for me to live and not sound like death.

I've had this teacher for a few theatre classes before and he's pretty cool. He asked us what types of theatres there are and because I took a technical theatre class last semester so I knew the answer and said "Procenium." I learned that saying any answer was frowned upon greatly by the other scholars in said classroom environment. The only kid who was in my technical theatre class that I wasn't a big fan of and was 'placed' in this class decided it would be a jolly good time to scream at me;
WAIT UNTIL HE DRAWS THE THEAAATRES ON THE BOARD!!! (pronunciation of stupid kid: thee-aye-teeeers)
Alright kid you need to calm down. I did not realize you were so passionate about chalkboard drawings of theatres, I apologize for killing the moment.

Overall the class was alright but Thursday we have to bring in a theatre game. I despise theatre games and I despise giving instructions for games that I despise outloud in a hostel environment.

Now we get to the funnest class of the day; ART!
I love painting and coloring and drawing and crayons and everything related to artisticalness and this class really let me show my creative side by being dictorial! The teacher is an absolute nightmare and scared me like there's no tomorrow. I will admit to being easily frightened but this lady was a demon from hell.

I walked into the class right on time because I was like a stupid freshmen and didn't know where the room was until a kind lady told me that it was held in the auditorium. Art class in the auditorium, I'm not sure how that's going to work out but ok...

So I walk in and this lady was standing infront of the class,arms folded, frowning, with a big overhead projector behind her displaying a depressing powerpoint with a gray background and big black letters stating ART DOES NOT IS=EASY! Now I can ignore the horrid two verbs next to each other but when you are a teacher with a PHD or whatever, not being able to from a complete proper sentance concerns me.

This nutcase began class by YELLING at us, saying that she isn't here to be our friend, doesn't wish to know our names, and if we have a problem with nudity then we need to get the hell out of her room! Now if that isn't bad enough, she started yelling at us "stupid teens" about cell phone policy and how if she sees our cell phone you will not be allowed to return to her class. Ever. I can understand most teachers cell phone policies because I agree that texting in class doesn't make you learn but to kick someone out of class for life is a bit strange and over the top. Mark someone down a point for the day is understandable but kicking someone out of class will not make the people paying for tuition happy, especially if the phone call was a family emergency or something related.

She also stated that she could care less about our personal life and if we have a question we can't ask it in class, we have to email the question to her because she doesn't have time for 'obvious questions' that can be answered by looking at the book. Speaking of the book, I learned that bringing it to class will not get your head chopped off! Some kids forgot their book and this is how all that went down;
Her: Who doesn't have a book today?
-half of the class raises their hand-
Her: Well those who raised your hands keep them up. You are all stupid. And do you want to know why you are all stupid? Because you did a stupid thing! Text books are needed for MY class, you are all so intelligent by not bringing one today! And to those who have yet to buy one, I can guarantee that you will fail my class. I know text books don't come cheap but that is why financial aid helps you jobless wonders pay for them!

Personally I'm not eligable for financial aid but I found that to be a bit insulting and possibly an inaccurate statement.

Later on after she was done ranting about how she hates her job or something like that, she told us to introduce ourselves TODAY ONLY for attendance purposes and basically all of the people were like "Hi my name is Joe and I'm majoring in business" or something to that effect and when it was my turn this is how it went down
Me: "Hi my name is ____ and I'm majoring in performing--"

Oh, alright then. I just thought stating your major was the normal thing to do because half of the class before me did it! I think it will take all of my energy just to not lose it in this class everyday. I am not fond of teachers flexing their meager power over the students like it's the only pleasure they get in their sad lives.

She then tells us at the end of class to write down some background information about ourselves which I can only guess my college is forcing her to ask us to do this. Or based on her previous behavior I could only assume that she wants this information to use against us! I only put the name of the high school I graduated from and now I am starting to think even that was too much.

This shall be an interesting semester.

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