Children

I'm not sure how many times I have to say this but I do not like children what so ever. Get your children out of my sight and I'll be fine. This includes stupid teenagers who are into Justin Bieber and call everything they see "gay." Get away from me. Graduate middle school before talking to me and stop thinking you know everything. I do not like that! You are 8 years old, you know absolutely nothing!

So I went to a nice restaurant to have lunch with my dad today and there was this little kid, maybe about 3, sitting next to us trying to order.
 “Come on, Joey. Ask the nice lady. Tell the nice lady what you're having. Come on, sweetie. Say it.”
 “Ice cream!”
“No sweetie, no ice cream. What did you want to order Joey? Say the order!"
*stares blankly at his mom for 5 minutes*
"Fen fies!"
“Yes, french fries! Good job! And what order of fries do you want? Tell the lady, come on tell her. What size?
"Small!"
"Very good Joey!"
     
You want to know what would have been better? If Joey ordered a lobster- of a large proportion! I understand that this child is trying to learn to speak but it's freaking annoying. Don't do this. Ever. Stop it. Stop it right now. It's not cute. You're not cute by doing this and your child is not cute and both of you are irritating me. STOP IT.

Then if that's not bad enough (considering we waited about 15 minutes for these people to order some freaking french fries) there was another kid who kept running around the restaurant and almost knocked a chair into my head then laughed. Way to go parents. Just so you know I'm not above smacking your kid and if he doesn't get away from me or stop laughing in the next ten seconds I will smack him so it is best if you remove your hellion out of my presence immediately.
And what did the parents have to say to this young lad?
"No Jack. That's not polite. Let's go back to our seat now honey."
Yes. Remember everyone it's not polite to almost give people brain damage!

Then when I come home my neighbors (not the ones with the red car) are throwing a party for a child. And they never shut up! They keep screaming and blowing whistle party thingys and throwing sticks and balloons into my yard!  And when they scream they are screaming like they are getting murdered! They need to stop, go home, and read a book quietly in their basement or go on the internet and talk to strangers because yelling and throwing things into my yard and being a rambunctious annoying rugrat is not okay with me.

Also, people need to stop showing me pictures/videos of their kid. I am not amused by them!

Incase you haven't guessed I am never having children. And I'm not changing my mind. Everyone always tells me that I'll change my mind and I'll do that once I change my mind about how hoodies and shorts should always be worn together. 

A Message

Directed towards five people on my Facebook. I am writing this here considering if I were to write this on my Facebook I would lose about 20 friends and I really do not want that to happen.

But anyways I woke up pretty early this morning, took a shower, did my nails, got pretty for absolutely no reason other than the fact that me and my dad are going to lunch today. Well he's picking me up at 11:30 so I have time to spare and just went on Facebook only to read one of my "friends" statuses stating that she and four other of my friends are making a movie and how "they can't wait to film some more today!"

I am very mad. I have been mad at people before but this infuriates me. So I wrote a great letter to these five assholes which I have no plans on sending and it says this;

Dear friends( if I can even call you that anymore),
It has come to my attention that you all are filming a movie. I give you my full support on this project. However I do not support the fact that you all deliberately excluded me from this knowing good and well that I act the same as the rest of you. I guess I am not fully understanding why not one of you could have informed me of this. Is it because I'm not good enough? Because I don't look like a Barbie? Because I am not as tight with you as you are with each other? If it's any of the following those reasons are completely unsuitable. Why?
1. I am just as good as any of you. I may not have a SAG card or be a member of Actors Equity but last time I checked none of you do either. I took three acting classes this summer with professional stage and an unknown movie actor and I can tell you right now that I would have been happy to help with your movie, even if it was just behind the screen. However you all never gave me that option and now you will receive none of my help with this or with anything you wish to do in the future.
2. I can't help the fact that I do not look like Barbie. But I am confident with how I look and wouldn't change myself just to fit a stupid "image." If that is your reason for none of you informing me of this then I am going to be forced to never speak to any of you again because that reason is beyond idiotic and beyond ridiculous. You want to know who also doesn't look like a Barbie? Meryl Streep. Helen Mirren. Helena Bonham Carter. Bernadette Peters. Take that for what it's worth.
3. The last reason, if it's true, is horrible. I have talked to you about as much as you've talked to me, and we all seem to talk. Amazing! Sure, we all may not be "best bff's for life" but to exclude me for that reason is heartbreaking and hurts my feelings and kind of makes me unbelievably sad. Don't blame me for not trying to interact with you, because I have on Facebook as well as when I see any of you in or outside of college class or theatre auditions.

It truly does hurt my feelings to be excluded like this when you know good and well that I would have been game to either be on the screen as an extra or to work behind it. However I am kind of happy that you all are doing this without me. It kind of shows just what kind of people you are. If you have anything to say about any of this please message me back. I would like a good enough reason as to why I should not delete each and every one of you.

-Jane Doe

I am probably sounding immature about this but I am really hurt right now. These people basically just said "eff you" to me when they decided to exclude me from this movie. I realize that by not confronting the situation I am allowing it to stay the same but I don't think they would appreciate this message. Nor do I think it would be a hit for the director of my college if he were to somehow see this considering he's "tight" with two of these people. Ugh. Why do people exclude others? If anyone who is reading this has ever excluded someone else and knew they were doing it I hope you get punched in the mouth. Exclusion is not something people should think is okay because it's not. 

This is why I don't get up early. Because when I get up early stupid things like this happen! I think I should just go back to sleep. It is almost 9:30 and 1:00 is usually the anti idiot jerk time of the day. 

Now he’s at the CLOSET Now he's opening the CLOSET (closet closet closet)

Today is the day where I just found out about R.Kelly's hip-hopera Trapped In The Closet. Being the curious person that I am I watched all 33 chapters. I do believe that I am now dead from laughing so much, which when you think about it would not be a bad way to go--dying of laughter. I can't even explain the ludocracy of this but if you have the patience to indulge in this musical genius I shall provide a link;
http://www.ifc.com/trapped/#feature=episodes
I think I got hooked in chapter 2 when he pulled out his beretta...

Such low production quality with such a story line! The rhythm is catchy as heck too considering it never changes once throughout any of these chapters! And we get to see 33 chapters of this! I am beyond happy to hear this exciting news. A Broadway production is also in the works (or rumored to be) which I  think will only play out to be a Springtime for Hitler type situation. I wonder how they can leave everything at a cliff hanger on stage?

What I really love about this though is that people actually seem to take this seriously when the creator of it knows that it has no serious power to it what so ever! It is my belief that this entire thing is called Trapped in the Closet because he's literally trapped in a closet (in the beginning of the story) and metaphorically because everyone is hiding things from each other. Knowledge is power!!! =)