Sunday, May 11, 2014

Scared of Graduating

Today I went back to my college and gave the people at the registration desk my ID so I could pick up my cap and gown. I'm graduating on Thursday and truth be told when I first started college I never really expected to graduate. None of my family members did and I only know of three people who have graduated from a college/university setting. I'm proud of myself but also kind of terrified.

What some of you may not know is that in high school I had the most stressful time before graduation. On the day before graduation where all of us students practiced walking, one of my teachers wouldn't give me my cap and gown because I  didn't give her back one of her books. So after the practice walk, instead of having cake with the rest of my fellow classmates (who hated me) I had to run back home, find the book and turn it into her before I received my cap and gown. The secretary was about to put the caps and gowns in storage before I ran up to her in the hallway where she proceeded to have a convulsion about my fast pace of speed until finally handing me my graduation attire.

Oh and I had no one to walk with. Usually people tended to find their walking partner their junior year, but because I had no friends in my grade I had no one to walk with and got stuck with these two guys who were a bit odd. My moms best friend in high school's kid was walking with me, and that just seemed to tickle her peachy so all and all it could have been worse.

I guess I'm afraid that college graduation is going to somehow turn out to be like high school graduation, despite the fact that this will probably not be the case. I'm afraid that I won't know anyone. I'm afraid the college will decide at the last minute that we all have to choose a walking partner and I will be alone again. And there's always that fear of falling on your face when you walk the stairs to get your diploma. I won't be wearing heels but because I have a habit of falling down on a regular basis this could be a problem. But just so we are clear, if I was to fall down, it wouldn't be because I want to draw attention to myself. I can actually see someone doing that. Those types of people deserve to get a concussion while they pretend to fall just so they can look 'cool.'

But although I have my small little fears, I will not let anyone or anything ruin this day for me. Graduation is going to be spectacular and although I have no idea what will happen after, I know that on this day I will feel like I accomplished something and that is enough to make me happy.

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