Saturday, May 5, 2012


Right now it is nearly 3:00 am where I live. I have only been asleep for 2 FREAKING HOURS! Why is that? I've mentioned multiple times that I have insomnia so sleep is hard to come by but I am also a light sleeper so if anything wakes me up before the designated alarm clock time I get very mad. 

Well at precisely 2:00 this fine morning I get a text message from some girl who I took a college class with telling me to call her back ASAP. So I go outside and do so and on the other end this girl sounds drunk and wants to receive help and advise on what to do when diabetics pass out from their drunkenness and their sugars go up to 500. 
Me: Um does this girl have any insulin with her?
Girl: Like a needle? She has one but I already poked her with it and she isn't coming out of it. WHAT DO I DO?!?!?
Me: 450 is not the end of the world, she shall survive! First off stop poking her with the needle it isn't going to help unless she has a vial of some sort or a pen.
Girl: Like an ink pen? WTF WILL THAT DO?
-Ok obviously this girl does not have an insulin pen. Noted.-
Me: Does she have a vial of some sort with something in it that looks like water?
Me: What's the name on the bottle say?
Girl: Nov-OH-LOG
Me: There are numbers on the needle. Give her 15 units. Stab her in the stomach.
*waits a few minutes, hears another girl puking in the background...again* 
Girl: That it?
Me: Yeah but keep an eye on her. I'm not sure what her insulin dose usually is so she could drop, in which case orange juice always helps.
Stupid Diabetic Girl: I got the car so the car keys are driving!
Me: 0_o Oh and she shouldn't drive. That's EXTREMELY DANGEROUS!
Girl: Thanks Tiff, bye! 

And she hangs up on me. I hope I helped somewhat but I swear to God if "Tiff" get's credit for not having the stupid drunken diabetic girl hospitalized I am going to be madder than I already am. I'm not so mad at the college girl for calling me for help and getting my name wrong but rather the stupid diabetic for being so stupid. Diabetics should not have more than two drinks. EVERY DOCTOR TELLS YOU THAT! Apparently this girl had seven drinks which amazes me that her sugars weren't higher than 500. Moron.

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