So What Happens Now?

Tonight was my last final for my very last class ever in community college. If I pass it then I pass the class and get to graduate? Then what?  What am I going to do? I will graduate but then afterwards what will my life become? Will I be able to find a job? Is my major going to amount to anything? Will I be able to receive any type of job when it comes to theatre or acting? Where do I go from here? What happens now? I do believe I will be at  at a crossroad after graduation. I think I may be at a crossroads in my life now. 

To be honest I'm terrified. I'm afraid of the real world. I don't know anything about finances or mortgage or life. I can't even bake cookies without them turning into little hard squares and that just happened this week thanks to my clever idea to not use baking soda. School never teaches you those kinds of things yet they will continuously drill into your head the value of punnett squares and why Shakespeare was the coolest dude who ever lived. Don't get me wrong, I love Shakespeare, but he will be of no use to me if I ever decide to move away and live on my own to pursue my dream.

The counselor at my college was no help when I went into his office before my last class this semester.
Counselor: What's your major?
Me: I'm majoring in performing arts.
Counselor: Like lighting and all that?
Me: No, I enjoy the acting aspect.
Counselor: Well you may as well have saved your money by coming here. Nobody ever makes it as an actor, only about 5% of people do. Why wouldn't you major in something practical like business? I can recommend some classes for you if you wish to go that route.
Me: I don't want to major in business.
Counselor: There are other options. You can work in medicine or math or science. 
Me: Thank you for your concern but at the moment I wish to graduate with an associate in arts then go elsewhere. If I choose to major in anything else I will personally request to speak with you again.
Counselor: That's nice but I want you to be practical. Unless you get accepted into  U of M for this "acting" business, you are going nowhere. And although your grades are impressive they don't meet U of M's standards because you got a D in geography two semesters ago.
Me:  >_< 

Although I'm not applying for any other colleges at the moment I don't want this guy to be right. I don't want to be a nobody. I don't want to be one of those people who made a practical choice when it came to their career and then ended up hating myself and my job every day. I have seen enough people like this to know that is not how I want to become. 

At the end of class today I walked through the halls one last time to reminisce in my four years. I remember sitting at a little bench in the hallway talking to some of my friends who have long since moved on. I remember the first time I went to apply to the college and looked inside the theatre through the tiny windows just to see if anyone was practicing in there on a Saturday (no one was.) I remember standing in the hall before my Shakespeare class and literature class every day and talking to my classmates about what we read or did that week. I remember the first time I performed on the colleges smaller stage. I remember sitting alone in a large room with a fancy chair every morning and reading the student newspaper waiting for my philosophy class to start. I remember going to constitution day with my history class for a grade. I remember how crazy some of the teachers were but I also remember how wonderful and smart and kind some were as well. How much I disliked most of the students, how much I admired and respected and liked others. I remember everything about my four years in college no matter how big or how small. I hope to remember these things forever. 

But really, what now? What happens now? My journey may have truly just begun. 

Steak n' Shake, Flowers, and Dickens

Today in my biology class we had to count off in fours to do a group assignment to present next class. In this class I am all for randomly selecting groups based on the fact that the group I'm always stuck with sucks. I was familiar with everyone in my group with the exception of this one guy who I'm pretty sure has only been to one class at the beginning of the semester because I remember sitting somewhat by him earlier in the year. But this guy is in my group and he surprisingly knows what the hell he is talking about which I found extremely great because nobody else in the group seemed to have a clue and two of the girls kept rambling about going to Steak n' Shake after class.

But this guy listened to everyone elses non-realistic ideas while he was working on how to actually answer the question we received and then explained everything to the entire group without sounding demeaning or arrogant or like we had to use his idea. Hooray for non-demeaning/non-arrogant people! After a minute or so one of the Steak n' Shake girls speaks up and says "This is a stupid question! I don't even ask questions because whenever someone asks a question they sound stupid." Alright girl, you sound stupid by just saying that aloud and not keeping the thought in your head. This guy then responds to Ms. Steak n' Shake by saying “Ask no questions, and you'll be told no lies.” I found that a really odd thing to say at the time and didn't think anything more of it until lab when I realized that this guy quoted Mr. Charles Dickens. WHERE HAS THIS GUY BEEN THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE SEMESTER?!?!?

However, I do believe that I may have seemed a bit of a moron to him. I will admit right now that I am having trouble comprehending the genetic chapters in biology and have no freaking idea how to create a punnett square. I at least had a grasp on the concepts before these last few chapters and now I am completely lost. Great. The one and only person all semester who does not make me want to stab something and I don't know what is going on in the class. This is just dandy. Dandelion dandy this is! Plus I drew a flower on the worksheet because the worksheet was talking about flower growth and I wanted to contribute in some way!

^ Replica of my flower drawing.

Explanations and Stupidity In Biology

I got my test back from biology today. Let me just tell you that in order to pass the test it would be a wise idea to not even bother looking at the study guide because nothing on the three page study guide is going to be on the test. Obviously I didn't do too well but nobody got a C or higher so I guess that's a good thing. =/ A not so good thing is I learned tonight during lab that in order for me to pass this class and graduate I have to get a good grade on the next test. I do believe that it is time to find a tutor. Have mercy on my soul.

By the way, I'm about ready to kill Mr. Wheelchair guy. For real. Ever time he comes to class (why he's even bothering at this point in time I couldn't tell you), he shows up 25 minutes late, sits right by me and asks what's going on and wishes to engage in conversation with me, which means he is disrupting my learning and note taking. He then starts yelling at me about how I never texted him the notes from all 250 days he's missed. Because I totally have his phone number and should have called him to explain some notes from EIGHT WEEKS AGO. But no, I believe my response to him was;


For real. Why does this guy continue to show up? I'm barely passing and I only missed ONE CLASS.

The other thing about this fool is that every time he decides to show up he freaking talks to people on his phone and my professor doesn't even seem to care! I flipped out on him today because of this.
Guy on other end of phone: Hey man wassup? (Yeah, let's use speakerphone, that will OBVIOUSLY NOT CAUSE ANY DISTRACTIONS!)
Him: I aint doin  much, you?
Guy on phone: You busy?
Him: Nah not really, whats up?


Me: Hey can you please put your phone away. Please?
Him: (to me) Shh! Ah no man, just telling a girl to shut up.
Me: SHHH me again and I will break your face!
Him: Yeah I better go. No wait? Sandra's b-day party is today? Nah man, Ill be there.
Me: Hang up.
Him: Girl I told you to chillax.
ALRIGHT THAT'S IT. My name is not girl and Nobody NOBODY tells me to chillax or SHH's me.
Me: If you don't hang up RIGHT NOW I'm going to f***ing throw your mother f***ing cell phone across the room.
Him: (completely avoiding me) Sandra be tight!
Me: (takes the cell phone out of his hand, turns the phone off, then places it on the other side of the table)
Him: HEY! Why you take my cell phone? THAT'S THIEVERY AND RUDE!
Me: No. What's rude is forcing  people to listen to your stupid conversation in the middle of class. Not only is it rude but it's disrespectful as well.
Him: STFU girl I wasn't done talking!
Me: I WILL CUT YOU!!!
Yeah, this conversation makes me sound like a crazy freak but let me tell you that I have put up with this guys crap for too long. And I must have said that last part pretty crazily or I possibly looked crazy while saying it because he didn't have anything else to say to me after that, nor did he answer his phone again or call anyone. But why telling him to not use a cell phone in the middle of class was my job I couldn't tell you. You would think our professor would care or notice by the 12th time he's done it but she sadly has not and that is unsettling to think about.

Then after class there is lab. Stupid phone guy sits right by me in lab and I have to explain to him that our extra credit is due today, which was write on a topic of your choice which has two sides. Because he doesn't have his extra credit he starts telling the professor that it's her fault that she didn't inform him of the extra credit. Well here's a little idea; READ YOUR FREAKING SYLLABUS. So he tells her that he has to go back to the classroom to get his cigarettes and notebook which was a huge lie considering our classroom is only downstairs and is wheelchair accessed and he took about an hour or so to come back. Plus he came back with a typed up extra credit paper. What a miraculous find he found! Then he wants to know what we're doing in lab. Maybe if you were here and participating and listening you would know the answer to that question! Because I started ignoring him at this point he starts yelling at me and another girl on how we want to make him fail. Uh no, you are doing that all by yourself, don't you dare blame me for your problems. It is not my requirement to help someone who doesn't seem to want help.

Getting back to the extra credit thing, if you explained what you wrote about in class you got 5 extra points. I didn't explain my paper and missed out on the 5 extra points because last time I tried explaining one of my papers I started crying and didn't want to go through that again. By the way, giving a presentation is NOT the same as acting. If I have to remind someone of this again I am going to be very angry. Here is how that conversation usually goes.
Me: I don't like presenting.
Person: But you want to go into acting. It's the same thing!!!
Me: NOT REALLY
Person: Yeah it is! You should love presenting!
Me: No. They are two completely different things. When you are on stage you have lines. When you have to give an explanation of something during a presentation you don't have the words written down for you.
Person: I DON'T UNDERSTAAAAND!!!
Me: Lines= good Randomly saying stuff= bad

I was not blessed with the gift of incredible explanation. There are people who can explain things and say really wonderful words off the top of their head but I am not one of those people. Most people in my class could explain what they did their research paper on and they sounded all neat and used words like "exemplification" and "harvest" and "narrowing."  I could never use such clever words in a sentence spoken aloud. When I try to explain anything aloud (especially in a setting with a lot of people) I tend to do one of two things.
1. Cry
2. Stupidly explain what my paper says but make it sound like I don't know WTH I'm talking about.
This is only when I have to explain things in detail though, without a piece of paper. Give me a power point or a poster and they help me not sound idiotic.

I can write so many amazing words down such as "narrowing" but I can't say them aloud which is kind of strange. I can recite lines but when I have to say something off the cuff  I fail miserably. Just thought I would throw that random fact about me out there.

Hope everyone is having a wonderful December so far!!!

November Favorites

Epica
I've listened to this band a few times on Youtube and have always found them to be really great. However I recently read a few interviews with the band and finally had the chance to listen to two of their albums and I can now officially say that Epica is now possibly one of my favorites. They recently released a dvd/cd of Retrospect which was a concert in which they performed with a full orchestra for 3 full hours. Epica consists of seven people (Simone Simons, Mark Jansen, Coen Janssen, Arien van Weesenbeek, Isaac Delahaye, and Rob Vandeloo) who each have their own special talent whether it's playing a guitar or singing in an operatic style. If you like symphonic metal and have never heard of Epica (which most people have) then I must strongly urge you to give them a listen.

BBC's Emma

I have only now at this point in time seen the 2009 TV miniseries of Jane Austen's Emma and let me just say that this version blows all of the other versions out of the water. In my opinion Romala Garai and Johnny Lee Miller (who you may recognize from Elementary) make the perfect Emma Woodhouse and Mr. Knightley. Michael Gambon also stars as Mr. Woodhouse and anything with Mr. Gambon in it is bound to be good as long as he doesn't start screaming at people in a calm fashion about how they may or may not have put their name in the Goblet of Fire.


Person of Interest
I have been a huge fan of this show since episode 1 aired. Love the storyline, love the setting, love the writing, love the actors, love the characters. I basically love everything about this show.The past three episodes shown this season have turned me kind of bipolar. And the season  isn't even over yet! There was a lot of AHHH then AWW then GASP then TEARS then NOOO then EEE! then SHOCK then AHHH then HAHAHAHA then YAY then ASDHGJGKFL! So many feels! I promised myself that I would never ever use the term 'feels' but I can't think of another way to describe what these last three episodes did to me. By the way to everyone who keeps Facebooking how they need to kill Root and Shaw, ya'll need to take a sit. Those character are awesome and Sarah Shahi and Amy Acker are brilliant.


Rockstar Fruit Punch Pure Zero
I have nothing to say about these little cans of goodness other than they keep me awake in class and taste delicious. The lady who cuts my hair recommended this flavor to me and I must thank her muchly the next time I have a hair appointment.


Healthy Sexy Hair Leave In Conditioner

I ran out of this for a week and let me just tell you that I was super happy to get another bottle. It smells amazing and leaves my hair really soft and tangle free. During the time I ran out of this I was using some Aussie leave in conditioner and that stuff made my hair a tangled mess, not to mention some of it fell out. So yeah, this product is a must have.

The Autobiography of Jane Eyre

I found this series when it was only on episode 3 so I guess you could say that I was one of the semi-first viewers of the series. Now the series has 11, 268 subscribers which is absolutely fantastic. Every single person involved in the series is incredible and I hope to see more from all the actors in the near future.

Thinking Thoughts

Today my aunt came over to our house asking my mom if we had any eggs because she was making a cake. My mom gave her the eggs and then  she starts zeroing in on me about how it's weird for people of 22 years of age to not have ever had a boyfriend. Yeah, because that's my fault and this is really a conversation one should have while borrowing another persons eggs.
Once she left I started asking myself this question and I finally have an answer! My dear aunty, the reason I don't have a boyfriend is because these are the types of guys I get to choose from! These are taken from the Facebook's of practically every guy I know or have known in the past:

I love to fish and i love to hunt but i love gettin laid in the bed of my truck
Well up since 6 to excited about my booze and bow hunting filled weeken
We dot care we're driving Cadillacs in our dreams
After that im done watching time for zombies
Well the ol 7.3 has brakes again now time for it to give it a bath
My long hair cant cover up my redneck
believe me.. ill be in that beaver in no time.
Tbh...I don't know u that well but us look like a country boy which is def a bonus and you seem cool.
My day off... Partied all night nd up sense 7:30, work you mess up head!!
! I got to see my broosky at court bitches set him up but who cares he got  amazing deal and is getting out wayyyy earl than expected. 
Hittin' a lick while updating my facebook status....
Couple Brews and a few country tunes.
i fell out of my tree stand tonight and all i did was torn my sentlock coat. 
Bow fishin last night — -

Cc crash bow wow

like ms and be fallowing me 

>Insert picture of them drinking, smoking, or a deer head< 

Thankfully none of these past acquaintances are on my friends list, they are still past acquaintances though and are basically the kind of people I run into 24/7 which is really sad. Why are these people all country or act like they are from the hood? And why are all the other guys I didn't list who spell their words correctly such horrible people?

WHY

WHY

WHY 

WHY 

WHY

 All in all though, every single one of my guy friends on Facebook are married (and I'm also usually friends with their wife), have a long time girlfriend, are gay, have a child, or have succeeded in getting their fiance pregnant but they are all super nice and awesome and don't say things like "huntin for deer and then goin boozering with my homies!" Not to say that one should only date the people who have a facebook, that is idiotic. A lot of the people I know don't believe in social networking and they are some of the sweetest people ever.

But as for the having no boyfriend thing, I honestly don't care. This is just something random I was thinking about, I always have to think about things whenever my aunt speaks to me. I swear she does this stuff on purpose. But people should be perfectly fine being single, I've been single for 23 years and I'm still living. If you live you are doing good. 

Weirdos At College

I believe that I have talked about this guy on my blog before but for those of you not aware there is a guy in my biology class who is in a wheelchair. He never shows up to class but whenever he does he always has to act like an idiot and be creepy. And today he decided to sit right next to me, talk to me all through class (while I'm taking notes) along with popping some pills and drinking his "water" (which I'm pretty sure was vodka). He also wanted to have a rousing discussion on how high he was and how hot Kelly Osbourne is and how he would totally bang her.  That is not okay. I am in college to learn, not listen to you spout off about things unrelated to the class. Not only was this guy irritating me he was disrupting the learning process. If you want to talk about Kelly Osbourne's hotness with someone, do it on your own time, not mine.

Then after taking a sip of his "water" he decides to get into this debate with me. Why I even responded to him I couldn't tell you.

Him: You need to have kids.
Me: No. I don't like kids.
Him: Bullshit. You love kids
Me: No I really can't stand them.
Him: Don't you think they're cute?
Me: No. They cry and never shut up.
Him: Cuz they're sad and like to talk. Come on! I have three kids who have three different mamas and they turned out alright.
I'm sure they did...
Me: I'm not having kids.
Him: Atleast try once.
Me: No.
Him: Why not? You'd be a great parent cuz you look childish yourself!!!
I couldn't even answer that. Da fuq? How does looking like a child make someone a capable parent for raising little spawns? Dude you have issues. 
Him: If I was a girl I'd be having children all the time! As soon as you have the first kid you gotta have more!
Because as we all are aware, childbirth is a completely painless process. I told him FOUR TIMES that I don't want kids so the reasonable reaction he has to that? Have more than one! 


I have absolutely no idea why this guy is so concerned about my decision of not wanting kids. Does he wish to have a child with me? Actually let's not even think about that! I have enough nightmares as it is. It's my life and if I don't want kids I truly think people should respect that decision.

And I have lab on Mondays (along with this idiot) so that means that even AFTER class he wouldn't STFU about this. It would seem that being 22 and not having a kid is crazy talk in this guys world! My time clock to have kids is running out! Yes. Time clock. That is what he said.



Then he starts telling me about his recent girlfriends birthing process. NO. IF I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THE BIRTHING PROCESS I WILL GOOGLE IT. THANK YOU. It was just an overall weird experience. Who in their right mind would think that this topic of conversation would be nice to have with a complete stranger?

Still, I did meet some cool people in lab. Two of the people who have lab on Wednesday came to our lab today and we all got to work in a group together. AND THEY COULD SPEAK PROPER ENGLISH AND USE FULL SENTENCES! Nobody will ever realize how overjoyed that made me. It took us about 45 minutes to complete the lab which is a new record for me considering condescending lady and wheelchair guy always have to argue about who is right about whatever we are doing. Wheelchair guy was still a weirdo and kept crying about how he "don't know what to do cuz he don't understand." I tried explaining to him that he was looking over a yellow paper for CLASS and not the blue one for LAB which is probably why he didn't understand. But God forbid I try to help someone, even a person who doesn't deserve my help. As soon as I told him this he starts flipping out on me for calling him stupid and that I'm racist and how I don't know what I'm talking about because stupid people don't take care of three kids and a foster child or have three college degrees or have time to pick up another degree. Right. Because as everyone knows, telling someone they are reading the wrong paper calls for that. You know what stupid people really do? Brag about their life accomplishments when no one was asking about them then calling someone a racist because they are trying to help you understand something. Stupid people do that.

Speaking of stupid people, I forgot to mention how the group project went. Honestly it went pretty good but sadly I wasn't able to put down a 0 for my project partners because they were looking over my freaking shoulder when she handed us the evaluation sheet.
Certainly we weren't the worst group. Most of the groups did pretty great with the exception of one. This group made a PowerPoint and quite possibly spelled everything wrong on it. One of the guys in the group didn't show up so it was just two country bumpkins trying to explain osmosis. This is how the presentation went, in their exact words;
"Wen da egg yoke turn blu then u will c blu vapoer in the water. We used a egg to test out our hypoythyisiz."
-Wen? Like the shampoo they always advertise on commercials at 3 am?
-Yoke. YOKE?!? THAT IS NOT HOW YOU SPELL YOLK YOU DESPICABLE DING DONGS!!!
-And how will you see blue or I'm sorry "blu vapoer" in the water if all you did was dye the egg blue?
-Then there's my favorite, A egg. A EGG. Not AN EGG. A EGG. Say that out loud. Then remind yourself to never say it again!
-Oh and hypoythyisiz is my new favorite noun!
Hypoythyisiz- To hypnotize a person with hypotension into thinking they are Shakespeare but wear a bigger size in pants.
(Hypoy/Thy/Isize)

I weep for the coming generation of teachers entering the school system, I truly do.

First All Nighter

Hey everyone I'm back and it is currently midnight where I live so that means I have 17 hours until my poster and lab report are due! Fun times! This was supposed to be a group project but considering everyone in my group sucks I of course got stuck with doing the poster for our presentation and the lab report, the last which I haven't even started yet!!! This is not okay. I seriously loathe group projects so so much. I cannot tell you a story about that one time I was in a group and did not do everything because in order for me to tell that story I would have to have been in a good and fair group which we all know will never happen. So here I am on a Sunday night coloring in some graphs and trying to sound all scientifical and write down all the information I had to find myself because my "group" thought it would be a great idea to not do their side of the project. I kind of had a feeling that they would do absolutely nothing but I held on to this little glimmer of hope that they would. Darn you glimmer of hope! Now I'm stuck here typing a lab report which is probably going to need some severe editing in the morning. If I had it my way the report would say "And then we learned science. Bill Nye says science is our future. Bill Nye is cool. Osmosis. The end." But I doubt writing a few non-detailed sentences would be good for my grade. As for the rest of my groups grades, let's just say come student evaluation time tomorrow they will wish that they had done something. I am giving all of them the lowest points possible and I dare them to do the same. I dare them to give me a low score on the evaluation. I dare them to complain ONE TIME about my poster or critique the lab report. I have been so very close to kicking these people throughout the entire semester but tomorrow just may be the day. I can see how this is going to go down right now; condescending girl is going to have a problem with my poster because I actually know how to use a dictionary, but this will be a problem in her world and she will try to fix it using her non-existent slang words. She touches my poster or tells me to redo it the below picture will be me.


It is my personal belief that professors assign students group projects to determine which students are bound to be future murderers. I think it's just a fun and amusing game to them when it is complete hell for the people who actually do the work. I bet they are just sitting in the teacher's lounge drinking coffee going "Tallyho! Guess what I did to my class today? I gave them a group project! Harharhar. And I paired Jimmy up with T-Bob and Shiny Dice Man. This is going to be such an enjoyment to watch as the weeks progress!" NO! This is not enjoyable  for anyone! If you are a teacher and do stuff like this then dishonor! Dishonor on you. Dishonor on your family. Dishonor on your cow!!!

The end. Well the end of this post anyways. I obviously have stuff to do but I shall write again shortly once the week is over.